The C.A.C. — Bette is bitchy because Candace has called five times. Well, and maybe just because she's kind of good at being bitchy.

Jenny's job — What, you thought Jenny's job was annoying people and preying on hapless fools? Yes, but apparently she's also waiting tables. She's just getting started when Robin shows up to see if Jenny's okay. But of course Jenny hasn't heard about Marina. Robin actually knows the real story — which is that Marina was indeed at the Bel-Air, in the presidential suite, with three bottles of pills (is this a game of Clue?) — and Robin knows this because Marina had Robin's number in her purse, so that's the number that "they" called. Robin says that when she got to the hospital, Marina was calling Jenny's name.

No, no: she wasn't calling Jenny's name because she wanted her. She was explaining what made her want to off herself.

Tiresome Tonya — Guess what kinds of gifts Tonya wants to register for? Really expensive ones. Surprise. As she and Dana window-shop, Dana's phone rings. It's Alice, calling from her knitting circle (ha ha). They pretend they're talking to other people so that nobody will suspect anything, and arrange to meet the next day.

One of the other knitters is not sure Alice knows what she's doing:

Knitter: "Dear, I don't think you're going to be able to get anybody's head through that thing."
Alice: "You know, though, I think this would make a really good harness for a strap-on dildo."

Alice! I have lots of yarn at my house.

Kit sets the table and lays down the law — Bette is moping. Kit says she should try to pretend to be human, as in using plates and napkins rather than eating directly out of the takeout container.

Kit: "Lemme talk to Tina."
Bette: "What would you say?"
Kit: "That my sister is a pooty-chasing dog who deserves to be tied down and whupped upside the head, but it doesn't change the fact that she loves you more than she loves her own life, and that you should finish punishing her and get back to figuring out how to live with one another for the next 50 years or more."
Bette: "You could give it a try."

Then, because that's all too painful, they talk about Kit's loan — so she can buy The Planet. Bette's willing to cosign, but she doesn't have the 50K for the down payment. So Kit says Ivan can get it, but Bette says that's a bad idea. Kit says it's typical of Bette to "diss her solution." Bette doesn't want Ivan to get the idea that it's a broader invitation, but of course Kit thinks she just might want to make that invitation.

Bette: "You're straight."
Kit: "Who says?"
Bette: "You're not?"
Kit: "I am. But I don't need you to tell me that, and neither does Ivan. The way I see it, Ivan is the one who gets to say whether he's a man or a woman. And he's been telling me he's more of a man."
Bette: "That's delusional thinking. It doesn't work that way."
Kit: "Maybe in the World According to Bette. But the World According to Bette doesn't have the same props it once did. You know what I'm sayin, baby sis?"

Word! Yeah! Kit! Wooooo!