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In
the last few weeks of its successful first season,
NBC's popular daytime reality TV series Starting Over
became an unlikely vehicle for lesbian and bisexual visibility.
A reality show from Bunim-Murray productions, Starting
Over is officially described this way:
Set
in Chicago, Starting Over follows a diverse and
ever-changing group of women as they attempt to make extraordinary
changes in their lives - all while living together under
the same roof. The women are joined by two life coaches,
Rhonda and Rana, who will help them define their goals
and outline the steps needed to achieve those goals. As
each woman achieves - or fails to achieve their goals,
she will leave the house and a new woman will arrive to
attempt to start her life over.
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The
short version? It's group therapy/emotional rehab with makeovers
and TV cameras --a show that's entertaining in a train-wreck sort
of way that draws you back even as it alternately makes you laugh,
cringe, and yes, even tear up occasionally.
Unlike
most reality shows which reinforce all
the wrong things for women--obsessiveness with appearance, relationships
with men as the cornerstone of self-esteem, etc.--Starting Over
advocates building self-esteem through setting boundaries and making
choices based on rational thought and long-term strategy. The last
batch of women, for example, includes a mother-daughter team who
want to repair their relationship, a college student who wants to
stop partying so much, and a new mother who wants to learn the parenting
skills her own alcoholic mother never had.
It
also includes a 32-year-old woman who wants to learn to deal with
her newly-discovered attraction to women. Leah, abandoned by her
mother as a child and conditioned by her father to be seen and not
heard, has spent most of her life feeling trapped and stifled by
her drive to be perfect. She joined the Starting Over House on the
May 13th episode with the goal of learning to "live out loud,"
which includes challenging the labels she feels others have put
on her and becoming comfortable with her burgeoning relationship
with Leda, the woman she's been dating for eight months.
Leah's
official bio on the Starting Over website reads like this:
Leah
is ready to settle down with that “special someone.”
The only problem is, she’s not sure if that “someone”
will be Mr. Right or Ms. Right. All her life, Leah was conditioned
by her father to take her place in society as a barefoot
and pregnant housewife, but never really felt like she fit
that mold. Leah spent seven years with a controlling boyfriend
and then avoided the dating scene for a few years. She has
always admired beautiful women from afar and even felt an
attraction to a few in the past, but never acted on her
feelings for fear of her family’s reaction. Until
now. She has recently befriended a lesbian and spends most
of her free time with her. Leah hopes to explore her sexuality
and discover what will truly make her feel complete.
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In order
to help Leah overcome her fears, the show's life coaches take her
through a variety of exercises including yelling loudly while sledding
down a mountain, writing out all the labels she hates on stickers
and wearing them around the house for a day before finally putting
them on plates and breaking them, and putting several items in a birdcage
in order to symbolically set them free. She
also makes progress when Leda visits mid-way through Leah's
stay at the house. Leah's excitement at seeing Leda again reinforces
her commitment to being okay with dating her, and the two venture
out to a local gay coffeehouse so Leah can test the gay lifestyle.
She likes it, and tells Leda she wants gay venues like this to be
a part of their life, and then they walk out holding hands. Leda
is warmly received by Leah's housemates and life coach that night
and the next morning; none seem to have a problem with Leda's sexuality--in
fact, in group sessions, they compliment Leah on embracing her sexuality
and bringing Leda to the house.
In
the season finale, Leah is told that while she hasn't completed
enough steps to graduate, she will be allowed to go back to Delaware
and test her new-found confidence, since she has made so much progress
(the real reason is that the show is shutting down for the summer
and then moving to L.A. for Season Two, but the producers don't
want to admit such commercially-motivated reasons).
Response
to Leah by Starting Over viewers has
been mixed; some find her boring, disingenuous, or believe she is
just looking for a mother-figure, instead of a girlfriend--a belief
bolstered by her unwillingness to be labeled "lesbian"
or "bisexual," her resistance to calling Leda her "girlfriend,"
and their odd (and chaste) kiss goodbye (although the editors may
have left out the real kiss). But other viewers find Leah to be
one of the most appealing guests at the house--smart, friendly,
and willing to work hard to change--as well as an interesting and
realistic representation of one woman's struggle with her sexuality.
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It
is a little disheartening to see Leah put "lesbian"
in the same category of negative labels as "worthless"
and "embarrassing" and "sad" during the
label-destroying exercise. But despite this and Leah's other
occasional eye-roll-inducing behavior (like her interpretive
dance early on in her stay), I can't help finding her a sympathetic
figure, and at least as likeable, if not more, than the other
house guests. The show's portrayal of Leah's confusion, struggle,
and progress towards coming out is one of the more in-depth
explorations of this subject we've seen on network television,
and invites the viewer to relate to her journey even if it's
also frustrating to watch at times. |
Given the success of the show (it frequently captures
the highest concentration of women 18-49 of any nationally syndicated
program), its mostly positive portrayal of lesbianism/bisexuality
makes it a powerful tool in influencing the attitudes of its heterosexual
viewers on this subject. If the ease with which the other (heterosexual)
women on the show came to accept and support Leah is any indication,
exposure to and interaction with women like Leah does make a difference--even
if it's just through your television set.
Note:
The second season begins September 13th; look for first season reruns
on NBC affiliates this summer.
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