South
of Nowhere: Recaps:
Season 2, Episode 9
"Love and War and Love and War"
by Karman Kregloe
Carlin Family Home Evening— Mother Hen Arthur is herding everyone together for movie night, Clay is wringing his hands over whether or not Chelsea will call him, and Glen is bitching about having to hang out with the family in the first place.
All is right with the world.
The doorbell rings and it's Ashley, who has found an ingenious ploy to get herself back over to Spencer's house—delivering the cel phone that Spence must have “accidentally” left in her car. Arthur invites Ashley to join them for some good clean Carlin fun.
Paula mutters a very wry, modern Bette Davis-esque “Cool!” and crumples her pretty mouth up into a terse pucker. I think she was being sarcastic. Maybe. But she pulls it together and feigns an enthusiastic, “Why don't you join us?”-- leaving off the “before your soul is condemned to the eternal fires of hell” part.
Spencer tells Ashley that they are about to watch The Others, and Ashley pipes up, “Oh, that's the one where you find out in the end that they've been dead the whole time, right?”
Yeah. That one.
Since Ashley has single-handedly busted up this family activity, Glen proposes something completely different: paintball. While Ashley quickly issues a “Hell to the nizzo,” Paula looks intrigued. Sure she mumbles an obligatory motherly, “What have we gotten ourselves into?” but I can see the sadistic sparkle in her baby blues.
A gun? My daughter's lesbian lover? Hell to the yizzle!
Paula plays it cool and makes an innocuous comment about delaying her mani/pedi date with Spencer then innocently asks, “Ashley, would you like to join us too?”
Ashley only seems like she's being polite when she demurs, but really it's just her survival urge kicking in. Glen is proving that he truly is the fruit from Paula's poison tree when he urges Ashley to join them. Since when does he want to hang out with Teen Lez? He even sweetens the deal by offering to invite Madison because she would “make for good target practice.” That's all Ashley needs to hear before announcing, “Lock and load!”
Later, Ashley is heading out, all apologies for “ruining” family night. Spencer assures her that it was a pretty weird event in the first place, an attempt for them all to just get along with each other after so much recent drama.
Ashley: No, it's great. Really.
Spencer: What's wrong? Aren't you happy that my mom's actually trying? This is huge, right?
Ashley: Yeah, you guys are doing great. What's next, a parade?
Spencer: What do you mean?
Ashley: Nothing. It must be really nice to have a mom who actually wants you around.
Spencer: Ash, I know that you feel bad. This time it's not about you and your mom. My mom is actually trying, and I'm glad that she is. For us!
Ashley: You don't really believe that do you?
Spencer: Yeah, I do?
Ash: Wow. Ok.
She leaves in a mini-huff, per the norm. Face it Spence, there's no making this girl happy.
