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When confronted, Mom says the standard, “I can explain…” She admits that her relationship with him may be “more than just professional” but before she can spin the “just friends” angle her husband has left the room. Mother Superior really needs to ask herself, WLWJT? (What Lie Would Jesus Tell?)

With Spencer suspended from school, Ashley is reduced to hanging out with Aiden. Aiden is blathering on about Madison (she’s been asking him weird questions, like what kind of girlfriend she was, was she a good kisser) but as they walk the halls of King High everyone is staring at Ashley.  She notices, but doesn’t know what it’s about.  She sees Clay with Sean and asks him, “When is the best time to reach your sister, parent-free?”   He gives her some suggestions but warns, “If you get caught, Spencer won’t ever get to hang with you. Can’t you just wait three days?”  Ashley simply tells him, “No.”

Ash notices that even Sean is kind of leering at her, so she demands some answers about her sudden popularity. Sean hands over his cel phone to show the scandalous text message that he (and everyone else in school) received from Ashley’s phone.  Ashley flips out. “What? She’s using my cel phone to tell everyone what I like to do in bed?  She’s right, but I would never spell it wrong!” 

Three guesses, kids, three guesses.

Ashley storms into the classroom where Madison is holding court with a gaggle of femme-bots.  She slaps Madison’s books from her desk and tells her, “Give me my phone, slut.”  Madison plays keep- away and says, “Look we’ve got pictures.”  One of the dimwits is smart enough to figure out, “Girl, that’s not her. That picture’s of you…and Glen. I  knew you were freaky but I didn’t know how freaky!”  Needless to say, Ash soon has her phone back.

Ashley stops by Spencer’s house, ostensibly to thank her for supplying “excellent paparazzi photos.” But we know better.  Since only squishy dad is home, Spencer sneaks Ashley into her bedroom.  They sit on Spencer’s bed while Ashley tries to get her to reconsider taking the fall for the crime.  “I hate to see you in forced confinement.” (i.e. “I hate that I don’t get to see you.”)

Spence is playing it cool. After all, getting busted and suspended is actually an image booster for a girl who mentions “school spirit” almost every week!  She tells Ashley, “Three days at home isn’t so bad.  And by the end of the week I’ll have caught up on my beauty sleep.”  Bat bat, go the lashes.  Ashley teases, “Which you SO need.” 

This causes a mini-pillow fight that leads to them sitting in what I call Spashley Easy Pose.  It’s like SON yoga.  The girls always come to rest sitting knee-to-knee on a bed, speaking earnestly to each other in low voices, gazing deeply into each other’s eyes, their faces drawing closer and closer together until some interruption jars them from their love trance and prevents the inevitable kiss.

This week, it’s an earthquake. Which I think is a good sign. It means that their attraction to one another has become so strong that it now takes an act of God to pry them apart! 

(Just before they are interrupted, Ashley tells Spencer, “I used to think nobody cared about what happened to me. And then I met you.”  Which cues the tremors…)

The Carlins run around screaming “Earthquake!” and jam themselves into doorways.  When the shaking stops, the house is covered in glass from broken things, including picture frames.  Clay is sifting through the mess when he suddenly realizes that there really aren’t any pictures of him growing up! (He must have been too busy with his studies for the last few years to notice.)  This leads to an epiphany—he needs to find his birth mother! (Who, sadly, won’t have any pictures of him growing up either—but he hasn’t really thought this through.)

Ashley needs to get back to her own house to check things out.  Spencer comforts her, “I’m sure you’re mother’s ok.” Ashley sighs, “She’s a witch, but I’d hate it if the house fell on her.”  Spencer agrees, “Families are like that sometimes.”  Ashley gives her a long hug and says, “Most times, you’re more than just family to me.”  Spencer gets shy and looks at her shoes, then watches Ashley walk away.

Next week: If the previews (and my TiVo) are on target, it looks like Spencer goes on a date with Aiden.  I blame George W. Bush.