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Clay
is getting more pressure, now from his friend
Sean, to get laid. Sean’s not sleazy like Glenn, but
he’s still a typical guy about the whole thing, treating
sex like it’s something a man has to trick or steal
away from a woman. Clay stands up for himself and his
decision to get to know Chelsea before jumping into
bed with her, and Sean backs off and respects his choice
(even though he thinks Clay is nuts).
At
the same time Chelsea is telling Ashley about her first
time. It was after a prom, with a guy she really liked,
but wasn’t exactly what she had in mind for the evening.
She says, with some sadness, “I haven’t been to a prom
since.” I think she’s going to be perfect for Clay.
At
the Carlins’, Glenn is vetoing Clay’s outfit choice
for the big date with Chelsea. And for once, I agree
with him. Clay’s green striped shirt is completely dork-tastic.
Glenn is so creepy that he even tells Clay to wear loose
pants, “You never when she’s gonna break down and give
in, so you want to be easily accessible at all times.”
Ugh.
Cut
to the video of Sean telling his first time story to
Ashley. He starts out being kind of cocky, but by the
end of the story you find out that the girl was someone
he cared about, and she was later murdered on the street.
Sean is a man of many mysteries. I hope they flesh out
more of his story as the show progresses.
Mr.
and Mrs. Carlin are in formal attire and wearing masks,
on their way to a Mardi Gras-themed party together.
The whole family is gathered together in the foyer congratulating
each other on their wonderful date-night outfits and
saying “I love you” to one another when Ashley bursts
in with her camera. She points it right at Mother Superior
and her wimpy mate and asks them the same sex question
she’s been asking everyone else.
Ashley
moves in for such a tight close-up that you can almost
see the little white crucifixes blazing in Mrs. Carlin’s
eyes when she hears this wildly inappropriate question
coming from the queer little heathen. They indulge
Ashley and say that both had sex for the first time
“on our wedding night” before they run out the door,
but something about the way they say it doesn’t really
ring true.
On
his date with Chelsea, Clay tells her about his childhood.
He was a foster child bounced around to seven homes
before meeting his social worker, Mr. Carlin. The old
softy invited Clay to join their family and his fear
of being abandoned again kept Clay on the straight and
narrow. His vulnerability gets him to first base, and
they kiss!
Meanwhile,
the Carlin’s are stuck in traffic and fighting
on the way to their party. The Mrs. is a royal bitch,
blaming her husband for every little problem they encounter.
Here’s a thought. Maybe if she stops pretending to be
such a pious and devout Catholic and instead reveals
the complex truth of who she is, maybe she won’t have
so much pent-up hostility. Just a thought.
As
they talk, we learn that their first time wasn’t on
their wedding night, but instead in the back seat of
his car. And Sister Christian got knocked up too! Mr.
Carlin romanticizes it, saying “that night gave us Glenn.”
She says, “It also changed our lives forever.” Mr.
Carlin quickly says that it was worth it for him. But
when he asks her if she feels the same way, she gives
him only angry silence.
Ashley
and Spencer are checking out the scandalous nude photo
email together on the computer. (I guess this is their
date-night?) Spencer says, “Well at least they picked
a hot photo.” (An interesting comment, Spencer.) Ashley
clues Spencer in on a little secret—the photo isn’t
really of her. At least not from the neck down. Ashley
explains, “The power of Photoshop.”
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