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Luckily, Squishy Dad is right there to tell Bitch Mom that she is completely out of control. She won’t hear it. “Don’t you dare make this about me. This is about our daughter and her relationship with that Ashley!” He tries to tell her that what she’s doing is driving a wedge between herself and Spencer and she snaps,” Really? Then maybe I should just go away and then you deal with them because you obviously know best!”

Yes! I vote yes! By all means, go away. And she does, kind of. She calls him later and tells him that she needs “time” and “space. ”Hmm…I sense an “emergency” hook-up between Mother Superior and Doctor Ben.

Apparently Mother Superior was not able to lock Spencer away up in the Tower of Straight Virginity, because the next day she is driving to school with Ash. And as they walk into school together, Ash takes Spencer’s hand. It is a sweet moment, quickly ruined by Madison who just about swivels her neck off of her shoulders as she taunts them, “Get a room! Since when did this become the Island of Lesbos?”

Plucky Spencer takes it in stride, “It’s hard to get pissed at her when she makes a geography joke. I wonder if she even knows what it means?” Spencer is just full of surprises. It’s her first official gay bashing for a public display of affection and it doesn’t send her off in a desperate scramble for a date to the prom!She can handle it, but this is more than we can say for Ashley. Her mood darkens; she drops Spencer’s hand and hurries them along to class.

Across campus, Clay tells Chelsea that he called his birth mother and that he thinks he’s going to meet her. He’s not sure what he’ll say about himself. “Maybe you need to tell her that you’re a wonderful talented smart black man that forgives her. I know it will help you whether it changes her or not." Big hearts for Chelsea! So Clay borrows Sean’s car to drive to Vegas and meet the woman in question.

Glen tells Madison that he’s now being courted by Duke for a basketball scholarship. She doesn’t really try to hide her disappointment because, you know, it’s all about her. She warns him that long-distance relationships are difficult, and as proof that there is some truth to the Dumb Jock stereotype, he invites her to go with him. But she doesn’t know if she could do that unless they were married.

As Glen contemplates the end of his freedom and livelihood, he suddenly looks very young and helpless. She realizes she may have overdone it and reassures him that they don’t have to figure it all out today. She offers him some celebratory sex instead, which probably has nothing to do with her trying to get him to marry her. Nothing at all.

At their lockers, Spencer tells Ash that her parents are acting like “big freaks. ”Ash assures her that it’s all about them. “Parents are not rational people. Something happens when you get older. I think it's hormones. They focus on you so they don’t have to focus on themselves and all their crap."

Spencer is comforted by this, but mostly she just wants to get her curious little paws on Ashley again. She hugs her tightly, but Ashley stiffens and squirms out of her arms.

And later that night when they’re out with Aiden, Ashley is still distant and pouty. Spencer, on the other hand, has an edgy new hairdo and her sights firmly set on Ash. She is not happy about this moody, offish version of the girl who had been so gleefully pursuing her. She tries to talk to her about this and Aiden, as usual, is in the way.

They ask him to give them a moment and he says he’ll be waiting in case either of them decides to “straighten up."