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Woody's — Brian gives Hot New Guy the news.

Hot New Guy: "So I guess you'll be wanting to collect your trophy?"
Brian: "You bet your ass."

So much thought goes into these jokes! The mind boggles.

Drew's Hummer — Drew is barking about the tabloid thing and spouting clichés. Emmett's still insisting that it's just better to come out already. Let your freak flag fly, Drew! Well, or whatever a macho guy like you calls a freak flag.

The sidewalk — Justin's mom has just bailed out her son, and is on a tirade: "I'm gonna have a few words with your father, starting with 'You sick son of a bitch'!" Justin, your mom really is kinda hot.

Justin says his dad would rather see him dead than gay. Ben (who has apparently come along for the ride) gets all mopey about the father-son stuff again and goes off to get the car.

Justin apologizes to his mom for destroying her marriage, but she insists it had nothing to do with him. Justin may know that intellectually, but the emotional knowledge is going to take a while. Good — maybe that means we'll see more of his mom.

The madwoman in the attic — Lindsay tells Brian about Mel's date. Brian slams his head into the slanty attic ceiling and says Mel needs a better space.

Brian: "This whole in-house separation thing is for shit."
Lindsay: "We need to do it. For financial reasons."
Brian: "At the expense of your emotional reason?"

Lindsay finally admits that she can't face the breakup, and thought that maybe moving back in would mean getting back together with Mel. Brian says she has to stop clinging to her past and move on.

Lindsay: "Move on? That's a good one, coming from you. Carrying on like an oversexed adolescent with that 'fuck-off' of yours.... The whole thing is ludicrous and humiliating. Well, I hope you win, even though you've already lost something far more valuable. So don't you tell me about clinging on to my past until you're willing to let go of yours."

Brian just sits there and listens. Fine, I guess she sort of has a point, but you wanna talk about "ludicrous" — the idea of Brian suddenly growing up and settling down is more than ludicrous. It's preposterous. Laughable. Absurd. Sacrilege!

Deb's house — Deb and Carl are cuddled up on the couch. The doorbell rings; Carl answers it and nearly faints at the sight of Drew Boyd. Aww, Emmett — your Prince Charming has arrived.

Mel and Lindsay's kitchen — Mel is making dinner. She offers Linds some, but Linds reminds her that they agreed they'd each make their own. Mel apologizes for the kiss and says it's time to make another rule: no bringing dates to the house. Well, duh. They are extra civil and careful and polite, and congratulate themselves for being mature adults. How long until Lindsay throws Mel on the bed and shows her just how adult their relationship can be?

Brian's loft — Hot New Guy is there: "You can have my ass, but you can't have me." Brian is still apparently pondering Lindsay's speech: after Hot New Guy strips and spreads 'em and claims he'll eventually tear Brian's empire down, Brian tells him to put on his pants and go.

Poppycock! Or, um... balderdash! Oh, whatever: this is for shit.

Emmett's bedroom — The press is outside. Emmett draws the curtains, but Drew knows it's time to face the truth. He finally says he's gay and gives Emmett a sweet kiss. Awww.

Ben and Michael's house — Michael has an e-mail. It's from Hunter — just telling them he's okay. Oh, hooray. Like we were actually worried?

Babylon — Hot New Guy is there. Ted offers to throw him out, but Brian says "it's" just going to get in eventually no matter what they do. Ted is confused as usual.

Hot New Guy stares at Brian with an interesting mix of respect and defiance on his face. Brian gives him a similar look right back, but it's more the look of someone who no longer needs to prove himself. Now that works for me.

NEXT WEEK ON QUEER AS FOLK: Drew continues his voyage out; Justin's mom gets her groove back; Mel and Linds have a sexy screaming match.

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