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Queer As Folk
recap: Season Five, Episode Eight
(original air date 3 July 2005)
THIS
WEEK'S QAF FAQ:
-
Is Brian really going to give in to all the pressure
to "grow up"?
I can't even think about it. It's a travesty.
-
Why won't Lindsay just get down on her knees and
beg already?
My, wouldn't that be fun!
-
What did Deb's T-shirt say?
"I don't repeat gossip, so you'd better listen close."
The
countdown — Brian and Hot New Guy are fucking.
No, they're not fucking each other — they're fucking
the guys on their lists of 10 hot guys.
Woody's
— Hot New Guy has fucked 6. Surprise, surprise,
so has Brian.
Brian
says they may be even, but they'll never be equal. Sigh. There's
something about this that's just sad, when it should be fun
and sexy.
Justin's
new place -- Michael is helping Justin move a bed
up 18 flights of stairs. Justin doesn't have a bathroom or
a stove, but otherwise his new place is cool and bohemian.
You know, "bohemian" in the sense of "disgusting."
Michael
and Justin seem to be buddies now. Ew.
Deb's
place -- Emmett has a stalker -- or at least somebody
who keeps calling and hanging up. Carl thinks Deb and Em are
jumping to conclusions and it's probably no big deal. He advises
Em to just keep his eyes open, but Deb has another tip:
Deb:
"You get yourself one of those pepper sprays so
you can blast the bastard."
Lindsay
and Melanie's house — Mel is reading about Proposition
14 on her laptop. Lindsay has brought her some tea, and is
interested in what's on the laptop — mostly because in
order to read it, she'll just have to get thisclose to Mel.
What's a girl to do?
The
doorbell rings, interrupting their almost-snuggly moment.
It's that weed Michael, there to pick up J.R. and to whine
and do whatever the hell else he usually does.
As
Mel goes to get J.R., she hands Linds the teacup and says
"Perfect blend of cream and honey, as usual."
Subtle.
Michael
asks Linds if things are back to normal. She says not quite;
she and Mel are just having an "in-house separation."
Haha. To borrow a quote from The L Word, "you
are SO gay!"
So
they're sharing chores and child care, but living totally
separate lives, and it's working rather well in Lindsay's
estimation. Yeah, admit it: it's all about the cream and honey.
Kinnetik
-- Ted is trying to get Brian to go out for blowfish
or mango martinis. Brian figures Ted is angling for a raise,
but Ted says he's just trying to be understanding about the
breakup. He tells Brian to quit foolin' around: "You've
gotta free yourself of this burden. Release it. Let it all
hang out." Brian just gives him a look.
Brian:
"My mother was a frigid bitch. My father was an
abusive drunk. They had a hateful marriage. Which is probably
why I am unwilling or unable to form a long-term, committed
relationship of my own. The fact that I drink like a fish,
abuse drugs and have more or less redefined promiscuity
doesn't help much. As a result, I've lost the two people
in my life that mean the most to me."
Ted: "There. Don't you feel better?"
Brian: "No. But I'm sure you do."
I
wish I could capture the sleek sarcasm with which Brian said
those lines.
Number
9 shows up to distract Brian from his fake sorrows.
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