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Ben and Michael's house — Ben and Michael are calling around, trying to find a new place to hold the benefit. But every place is booked or unwilling, so Ben suggests that Michael put aside his differences with Brian for one night, so they can have the event at Babylon.

Brian's loft — Brian seems to have found an Australian roaming the streets of Pittsburgh, and is fucking him while asking for tips about where to go in Sydney. Way to multi-task, Bri.

But he is rudely interrupted by a knock at the door and the buzzing of his cell phone; it's Ted, there to tell him that Brown Athletics no longer wants Drew Boyd to model their underwear. Gah.

Meanwhile, in a hotel room — Drew is watching some poopyhead on TV who's rambling about Drew's big coming out. Blah blah locker room, blah blah team spirit. Emmett shows up and snaps off the TV. Thank you.

Emmett has rented Madame X to cheer them up, but Drew doesn't think Lana Turner will do the trick. Really? What are you, some kind of jock? Oh. Right.

Emmett wants Drew to go to the Prop 14 benefit, but Drew says he's not a "professional fag" and doesn't want to be the gay poster boy. Then Drew reveals that Brian fired him from the Brown Athletics account. Drew says he's now lost everything, but Emmett points out that he's still there. So Drew tells him he needs some time alone. Fine, let the best thing that ever happened to you walk out of your life.

A sidewalk — Melanie and Corinne are walking along, holding hands. Mel says it's freezing, so Corinne offers to warm her up back at her place. Mel starts to say it's late, and then tries to say more, but Corinne knows what the problem is: Lindsay. She says Mel manages to mention Lindsay at every opportunity and the most random of times.

Corinne: "Referring to her is as automatic to you as blinking. Just... next time... be fair. Until you can buy a tube of toothpaste and not mention Lindsay's perfect smile, don't let some girl think she's got a chance."

Sigh. Corinne, give me a call and let me help you forget all about her. Plus, you know, you can tell me what kind of kisser she is.

Kinnetik — Brian and Ted are chatting about a new underwear model when Michael shows up. Sorry; it's not very nice to put "Michael" and "underwear" in the same sentence.

Michael asks Brian if they can have Babylon for the benefit, although he does it in a rather passive-aggressive way. But then, what's new?

Brian finds it amusing that Michael wants nothing to do with his world until he needs something. Michael starts to pout, but Brian is generous as usual and offers up Babylon for no charge.

Michael doesn't know what to say, which is proof that he's inept and hopeless. He leaves. Bye.

Almost — Melanie is home, smiling and calling for Lindsay and carrying a big bouquet of flowers. Oh, god, I wish we could have seen the scene that should come next.

Instead, we see Lindsay and Jennifer Taylor at the dining room table (yes, that very same table), talking about selling the house. Mel is stunned, but pretends it's all fine. She gets momentarily confused when Jennifer tells Lindsay she'll see her tomorrow night — Mel gives Linds a look like "just how exactly are you seeing her?" That's probably because she knows that I asked Jennifer out long, long ago, so of course Jen should be too busy for Lindsay. Umm. Anyway, Lindsay explains that Jennifer's referring to the benefit, and they all chuckle, and Jennifer goes.

Lindsay compliments Mel on the flowers, apparently not thinking they could possibly have been for her. You're a dummy, Linds. Or — more likely — you're gonna make Mel work for this, and I can't say I blame you. But the look on Mel's face still makes me sad.

The gym — Emmett is yelling at Brian for firing Drew: "How can you cave to such blatant homophobia?" So Brian calls Ted over to explain how much they'd lose if they lost the Brown Athletics account. The number is $2 million in profits per annum, so Emmett kind of understands in spite of himself. But he marches off indignantly just the same, because he's just that fabulous.

The sidewalk — Brian, in his uber-cool car, pulls up to the corner on his way out of a parking garage. He looks around and sees Justin putting stickers over the Stop Prop 14 posters, to say that it's now being held at Babylon. Brian just watches him for a while, and finally Justin sees him. Justin comes over to the car, and they chat; Justin is a bit disappointed, but not really surprised, to hear that Brian's going to Australia rather than the Stop Prop 14 event.

The diner — Ben and Michael are still bickering about Brian. Yawn. Deb interrupts to say that she's going to be late for the benefit because the other server, Kiki, hasn't gotten her "tranny ass" there yet. Some customer asks where his chicken fricassee is, and Deb says "It's still frickin'." Really, what would this show have been without Sharon Gless? I'll tell you: cancelled.

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