Hex recap (series 2, episode 8)
(Original airdate: 13 Nov 2005)

THIS WEEK'S INCANTATION:

Seal your fate and meet your doom,
despair of love and count the days.
Or tremble in a darkened room,
enslaved by evil's lusty haze.

Outside a pub — Malachi is strutting around (surprise) with his none-more-black clothes and his wallet on a chain and his ridiculous shoes. If you wore that in certain parts of the U.S., my boy, you'd have a Daddy Bear on your back before you could say "nephelim."

He finds Thelma and tries to apologize to her for being such an ass last week. Whine whine, I'm actually only six months old, I have no parents, I'm evil, poor me.

Thelma: "You know that cheeky grin male charm thing ain't gonna work on me."
Malachi: "I guess I'm not your type."
Thelma: "I only have one type these days: completely bloody unavailable."

Aww. I feel your pain, Thelma. Being a thirty-something lesbian in law school in America is not so different to being a lesbian ghost at Medenham. I think some of my professors might even be nephelim.

Malachi: "So who would you have, if you could? [looking around] She's cute."
Thelma: "Malachi, I'm not having this conversation with you."

But he carries on with his male (un)charming thing, because he knows Thelma's lonely, and that "contemplating eternity on your own has gotta get you down." And because getting down is exactly what Thelma's interested in, she plays along and points out a girl she likes.

"I can see that working," says Malachi — and then a speeding car hits the girl and kills her. Well, shit. I guess it's not quite that difficult for me.

As Malachi walks (struts) off, he says, "You should look her up, Thelma. You know how hard it is being a lesbian ghost."

Ella's room — Ella has nice purple curtains. No, that's not some kind of innuendo: I like a good pair of curtains. Now I've made it sound wrong anyway, haven't I?

Ella watches Malachi, who's running with some other boys, except he still has to be wearing all black while the other boys are wearing sensible running clothes.

There's a knock at the door; she asks who it is but gets no reply, so she opens it. There's no one there.

She steps out into the hall. Leon's there, being sneaky, and he's brought her a cake that says 446. He tells her it's physically impossible to light 446 candles and wishes her a happy birthday. Okay, I'll admit, that's sweet.

Leon tells Ella to blow out the candles. She does so with a twitch of her eyelids.

Leon: "You know, sometimes you're no fun."

He's also bought her a necklace, and is all nervous about it. And he's got something planned for tonight. It's the same old boy meets 446-year-old girl story.

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