Hex recap (series 2, episode 7)
(Original airdate: 6 Nov 2005)

THIS WEEK'S INCANTATION:

Sword and dagger and heavy bag
pose no threat nor break a sweat.
'Tis only faith that faints and flags
yet winds round Jez a noose, at neck.

Less of that, please — Leon and Ella are in bed. I was about to stop right there, but wait! There's Thelma too, asking "What's the story, morning glory?" Ella gives her a sleepy smile, and Thelma says "Morning, gorgeous" — and I'm foolish enough to think that Ella enjoys it a little.

Thelma: "Well, while you too have been busy playing hide the chipolata, I've been visiting the enemy. They got Max. He's dead. They tortured him. Wasn't nice."
Ella: "Which means it's time to take the war to them."

Leon says Ella's not ready. But Ella's already out the door, "and you two are gonna help me."

Luckily, both Leon and Thelma are bottoms, so they don't think twice.

Next thing we know, Ella's training on the heavy bag, but her elbows are everywhere and her alignment is all wrong. And she never hits with her left. In all those centuries of existence, she hasn't taken one boxing lesson?

Oh well: at least her sneer is fierce.

Ella throws down the gloves and seems to walk away, but then she turns around and fixes the heavy bag with a smirk and a stare -- and telekinetically slams it into the wall, so hard it comes off its chains.

Yeah, never mind the technique: that's a hell of a lot a fight.

Medenham — Ella and Thelma and Leon have rucksacks and are sneaking. Why is Thelma tiptoeing? How much longer is she going to keep forgetting she's a ghost?

In the library, Jez is being introduced as the new principal. Ella peers through the door as Jez rambles on about students who need help and says they still haven't heard anything about Ella Dee.

Our fearless threesome skedaddle to some sort of storage room, complete with cobwebs and lights that hang too low.

Thelma eats (always) as Leon and Ella discuss what Leon will say to Jez. Ella thinks he'll accept any story about her disappearance, because he needs her to be gone. She also tells Leon, "I need you on the inside," and Thelma and I gag.

Leon: [as he goes] "Save me some food, Thelma."
Thelma: [licking food] "I've licked it all."

As Jez reads Leon the riot act, Ella and Thelma find their way through some sort of back passageways. Thelma begins to feel like she's being used. Finally.

I love a woman who knows how to handle her power tools — Thelma takes a huge drill and bores a hole through some brick. Lucky for her, the girls' changing room is on the other side of the wall.

Ella: "What do you see?"
Thelma: "Oh, this and that."
Ella: "Is it Jez's office?"
Thelma: "He wishes."

Eventually they do find the right wall, and somehow Jez and Leon and that governor-ish guy don't hear the drill at all. Perhaps Thelma temporarily switched on the ghost shield, or something. I can't even pretend to make sense of the ghost stuff.

True colors — Leon confronts Tom about grassing him up. Tom says he only told Roxanne, which makes things crystal clear to Leon.

Tom tells Leon that Jez is making them all study kinh-do. "That guy is so full of shit," says Leon — and I'll finally admit that Leon's not such a bad guy.

Wait: Kinh Do is a restaurant where I live. Sorry, I must be hungry. I meant kendo. Or, considering Jez is the mind behind it, perhaps it should be called shitdo.

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