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Medenham
Hall As an erstwhile
AfterEllen writer has pointed out to me, all anyone
ever does at this school is play football, drink, and
shag. And here are the footballers again, the very picture
of youth and health (despite all that drinking, apparently),
as we go inside to the Headmaster's office. There we see
a man writing out a cheque; it's for Ella's fees, plus
a bit of a contribution to the Headmaster's fund. Ella
shows up and stares and smirks and says nothing. Meow.
The cheque-writing man has brought her an ornate box of
some sort; Ella's wearing the key round her neck. "All
very mysterious," says the clueless Headmaster.
Back
in her room, Ella opens the box, revealing a dusty tome.
Thelma arrives just in time to behold Ella's treasures.
No, not like that! At least, not yet.
Thelma
scolds Ella for sending Cassie right back to Azazeal.
Thelma then grabs some pieces of some sort of zapping/electrifying/special-effects-generating
rod or wand and I can call it that because she's
just assembled it and blasted a vase to bits.
Thelma:
"Well. Bet that makes your eyes water. Hey,
whatever floats your boat."
Snicker.
Ella
tells Thelma to leave things alone, but Thelma's already
opened the book, which is titled "The Vision of Orokiah."
A little light reading, then?
Ella
just wants to be left alone, but Thelma's not done yet.
She tells Ella, "if you'd shut up one time, you wouldn't
be kebabing a baby, and Cassie would be home and dry."
She declares Ella "a bit rubbish," and what
happens next is anything but rubbish.
There
was a dagger or short sword or whatever in the ornate
box, and Ella's now slinking towards Thelma, the aforementioned
dagger at the ready. Thelma gets nervous, but Ella just
smiles and thrusts I'm sorry, that's really the
only suitable word thrusts the dagger right up
behind Thelma's ribcage. Before you can blink, they're
breast to breast:
Ella:
"The blade must go beneath the ribs, up into
the heart. It's a precise length: 8 inches. Enough to
cleave the body and soul of any mortal."
Thelma: "Cleave the body
and soul... so size is important, right?"
Ella: "In death, as in life,
size is always important."
She
slips the blade back out, and Thelma offers her own brand
of smirk.
Azazeal's
lair Cassie's still worried about the
demon-baby's welfare, and Azazeal's still trying to convince
her that she belongs with him. He says he imagines Cassie
felt privileged to carry his child, but he's really just
winding her up, probably because anger sometimes equals
passion. But she storms off again anyway.
Supposedly
handsome The new teacher, whose name is
Jez, has whetted Roxanne's appetite. I know, I know: it
doesn't take much. But really: this guy? He's just kind
of there. He's about as handsome as a paving stone. I
mean, one can appreciate the usefulness of a paving stone,
and nobody really minds it, but who would call it handsome?
Roxanne would, it seems. She puts on her specs and tries
to look studious.
Leon
and some guy mock the whole thing, but Roxanne tells Jez
to ignore them: "They're on screensaver, the lot
of them." Yeah? Well if they're on screensaver, you're
on power monitoring all hard disks have spun down.
That was way too geeky to be funny. Sorry.
The
den of iniquity Cassie's still hanging
out with her favorite demon boys. The dialogue is too
inane for me to summarize or transcribe.
A
sanctuary of hope Ella and Thelma go to
a church to get some sort of supplies for the sacrifice
of the spawn-son. Ella's wearing that long leather coat
that would make anyone more interesting who can
blame Thelma for leering, really?
But
soon Thelma's screaming she sees a frightening
shadow on the wall. She does her best impression of Willow
Rosenberg as she explains the dire straits to Ella: "It
was like bleeaaah! and I was like aaaah! and it was like
whoosh whoosh!" Ella scoffs at first, but then she
sees the shadow too, and puts her lightning rod together.
But a voice from the balcony reveals that there's no scary
demon here: only Jez, who's a priest as well as a teacher.
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