Hex
recap (series 2, episode 13) (series finale)
(Original airdate: 18 Dec 2005)
THIS
WEEK'S INCANTATION:
The
end of days is nigh
but hope comes from on high.
Oh, no, that was a lie —
life sucks, and then you die!
Hallowed
halls — Malachi and Jo are walking —
well, Jo is walking; Malachi is strutting — down
a messy hallway where kids are snogging and generally
doing nothing. Jo says the only one they need to worry
about now is Ella. Malachi says she can't touch him now.
They go into a room where someone's spray-painting the
mark of Malachi, or rather, the doodle of Malachi, on
a window, and everyone else is pissed or stoned or otherwise
zombie-fied. This makes Malachi say "there's only
one person we need to worry about." Oh, you mean
the person who's not pissed, stupid, or wearing the doodle
of Malachi?
Yes,
that's exactly what he means: cut to Roxanne, who's at
church, praying. I can't get used to the pious Roxanne
either, but let's just go with it, okay? I'm sure it'll
all come clear in the end. Everything does on this show,
doesn't it?
Ella's
zoo — Ella is poring over her dusty mystical
books while Leon sulks in a cage behind her. Yes, a cage,
and I get the feeling Ella's enjoying that fact. Why didn't
you make him wear a pair of gold lamé shorts and
some body glitter?
Leon:
"You're gonna die lonely, you know. And I hope
I'm there to watch."
Ella: "You don't mean that."
Leon: "No friends, no family.
A completely empty, pointless life. That's right: bury
your head in your little books. You don't belong in
the real world, Ella. The real world doesn't want you."
Oh,
whew — I'm so glad he said "Ella" just
then. I was beginning to think he was speaking to me.
His
shirt is off again — Malachi bemoans his
fate and hopes the whole "end of days" thing
will be worth all the time it's taking. Jo wants to know
what he'd rather be doing, and the best he can come up
with is "sitting on a beach in Thaliand." All
that power and all you want to do is sit on a beach? Yeah,
well, I guess power doesn't necessarily make one imaginative.
And anyway, you sort of need a brain for that.
Malachi
says he and Jo can find a beach somewhere after it's all
over, but Jo says the world will be very different after
today. Malachi says "It's not gonna screw up the
beaches, is it? 'Cause if it is, you can count me out."
And Jo seems to remember that he's just a silly adolescent
boy.
Ella's
room — Leon taunts Thelma about Maya. Luckily,
Thelma's brought along enough sleeping pills to knock
out a horse. Yeah, but what about an incubus?
Tending
to things — Roxanne is taking care of the
chapel graveyard. Malachi shows up and wonders whether
anyone will do that for him when he's dead. She tells
him he needs to have a little faith in God, but he says
he'd rather put his faith in people. Roxanne says people
tend to let you down. She rambles on about Jez and how
if she hadn't tempted him, he might still be alive. There
are so many things wrong with this conversation, I really
can't comment.
Shut
up already — Leon stuffs sleeping pills
(or some sort of pills) into a sausage roll. She offers
it to Leon but tells him to say please.
Leon:
"Thelma. Give me the sausage roll or I'll dig
up Maya's corpse and stick it in her."
Thelma: [to Ella] "I think
we'd better do this sooner rather than later."
[to Leon] "Or I might have to kill you myself."
I
don't think I'd have even bothered to say that much; I'd
be throttling him through the bars.
I
can't take much more of this — Malachi tries
to sweet-talk Roxanne; he says she makes him feel safe,
she's different, blah blah. She lets him kiss her briefly,
then walks away, giving him the finger as she goes. Finally.
Or so I hope.
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