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More men in the mirror — Tom's checking himself out. It's not fun for me. Thelma finds it rather amusing. And then she hops into his dream (which apparently begins the minute he hits the pillow) and of course it's a dream of Leon, and strawberries, and other fruity things. Thelma can only say "blimey."

The dining hall — Malachi is still trying to be Leon's friend. It's too boring to recap. Meanwhile, Tom is gazing at Leon longingly.

Oh, please — Thelma tells Malachi that Tom's deepest desire is about sex, "but not normal sex," and that she felt quite sordid watching because she thought Tom was such a nice boy. I feel sordid watching your shoes, Thelma.

Oh, never mind, she's spinning Malachi a tale: she says Tom wants a sensory deprivation mask and a little tail, and Alex. Well done, Thelma: trick the trickster! If you can.

Leon sees Thelma leaving Malachi's room and bumbles off in his usual clueless way.

Framed — The police are at Medenham, taking David away because something's funny with the funds. Great. Guess who's stepping into the headmistress role?

Ella's room — With the help of some visual aids in the form of gingerbread men, Thelma tells Ella about Tom's real desire. It seems Ella's in league with Thelma on the whole "let's make Malachi think we're helping him" thing. Well, good.

They also talk about Leon, but I don't think I can bother to recap it. Especially now that he's shown up and is being all huffy about Thelma talking to Malachi, and about not knowing that it wasn't for real.

Not a good shirt — Why is Tom wearing that ridiculous plaid shirt? And why has he buttoned it as far as it will go? And why does he think Leon will believe that he's worried about him?

No, not more of this — Roxanne and Malachi discuss the sex addict thing. Roxanne seems to really be a Christian now, and genuinely interested in "the pleasure of denial." She begins to do tai chi and explains that it means "supreme ultimate fist." Was she listening earlier when I was talking about the funicular?

Boring stuff — Tom and Malachi get drunk and silly; Leon and Ella get snippy and serious.

Oh, wait, I guess it's not so boring: Malachi helps a drunken Tom get to bed, and as Tom passes out, Malachi marks his neck with the mark of Malachi — with a magic marker. You mean this seemingly supernatural sign has been nothing more than a doodle all this time?

You just had to take it too far — Leon sees the mark on Tom's neck. It seems to send him over the edge: he goes to Ella's room and borrows one of her swords, and then goes back to decapitate Tom. Well.

And then Leon takes a shower and we see that he's got the Malachi doodle on his neck too. Next thing you know, he's chatting with Alex and Malachi in their den of iniquity.

A "special assignment" — Leon brings Ella breakfast in bed as a peace offering. It's all so sweet and false, like most peace offerings, or at least that's how it seems when you live in the US of A.

While Ella eats her breakfast, Leon procures some sort of fruit drink and puts St. John's Wort in it. The music is all "oh, look, something dire is happening, and if you were watching Bad Girls, Fenner would be trundling along with a dyspeptic look on his face."

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