Hex recap (series 2, episode 12)
(Original airdate: 11 Dec 2005)

THIS WEEK'S INCANTATION:

White is black and left is right;
day is dark and night is bright.
Plot, plan, trick and lie
and steer well clear of succubi.

Nighttime— A couple of succubi are painting Alex's toenails. I am repulsed by toenails, I don't like Alex, and I'm indifferent to succubi, so I'm not exactly having a good time.

One of the succubi (apparently her name is Imogen, but why should we care?) goes to the kitchen for a snack. On her way out, she meets Ella, who is obviously battle-ready — you can tell by the bustier. But she very nearly isn't ready for Imogen at all. Just to drive that point home, Leon goes flying round the room, even though he usually seems rather far from the fray.

At some point Ella's shiny curvy knife (more like a cleaver) gets away from her, so Leon sends that flying across the room too, and Ella actually catches it by the handle. Nice trick. She then uses it to neatly (well, perhaps not neatly, judging by the sound it makes) separate Imogen's head from her body.

Ella: "Well. That's the last time she'll be eating between meals."

That whole thing, including the dorky one-liner, felt very Buffy-esque. And Leon's looking about as gobsmacked as Xander usually did. Cue the theme song!

As Ella showers, Leon confronts the man in the mirror. Ella tells him he has to stop thinking of them as people. He knows, he knows. He really just likes to behold his countenance and bask in the glow of his own boyish charm.

Nah, he's definitely having qualms, and I experience something sort of like qualms when Ella appears behind the translucent shower curtain and asks him to pass her a towel.

Ella tells Leon he'll never get used to it; it's not in his nature and it never will be. She sends him off to bed.

And when Ella herself goes off to bed, Jo is there — but not in the way I might hope. She's either looking for something or planting something, but she says she's dealing with a mouse problem — one that Headmaster David wants to keep a secret. You'd think that having recently gone on some sort of exchange trip to hell, Jo would be a better liar. (But then, you'd think that having written so many recaps, I'd be able to come up with witticisms like 'exchange trip to hell' on my own, instead of stealing them from my clever paramour.)

The school of succubi — Leon wants to know whether Alex is next on the list of decapitatees. And he wants to help in some way.

Ella: "No. For now, you do nothing."

For now? I think you meant for ever more. Quoth the recapper.

Malachi tries to pretend to be Leon's friend, but Leon's not having it. Perhaps he's not so hopeless.

The depths of despair — Thelma is sulking in the cellar. Ella wants to talk to her.

Thelma: "I don't have anything left for you to take. Unless you've come for my memories. What was she? Just another casualty of war?"
Ella: "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, and you have every right to be angry with me."
Thelma: "Thank you."
Ella: "No, I didn't mean it like that."
Thelma: "I guess it's just one of those stock phrases they teach you. I presume the Book of Orokiah has a section on how to deal with grieving ghosts. Particularly those you want something from."
Ella: "I don't want anything from you."
Thelma: "Please, Ella. You don't have relationships with people unless they're of some use to you."
Ella: "I think that's slightly unfair."
Thelma: "Really? Who do you count as your true friends?"
Ella: "I don't know what you mean."
Thelma: "Exactly.
Ella: "But... I'm sorry I killed Maya, but there was no other way."
Thelma: "Let me guess: no other way to get to Malachi."
Ella: "Yes."
Thelma: "So he's dead, is he? Don't tell me you killed Maya then failed to kill him. How many more people, Ella? Or have you totally lost count?"
Ella: "It's out of my control."
Thelma: "You make your own choices. I've learnt to live with mine. Can you say the same?"

Well. I don't know why I've typed that all out. Especially considering I now have nothing to say about it. Except that I feel like I've been scolded somehow: Thelma would make a good schoolteacher.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 - Next