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Medenham Hall — It's Cassie's face! No, it's Telekinetic Tessa's face! No, it's Cassie's! And now it's Cassie's face getting doused with water — courtesy of my beloved Thelma, of course.

Thelma: "Oops."
Cassie: "What are you doing??"
Thelma: "I was trying to wake you up!"
Cassie: "Couldn't you just shout at me?"
Thelma: "I did! You should think yourself lucky: I was going for the red hot poker next."
Cassie: "Why did you let me go to sleep?"
Thelma: "Cassie, you've been awake for three days. You're going to go insane."
Cassie: "That would be preferable."

Instead Cassie asks Thelma for "those pills," and Thelma gives her some, along with a warning that she'll soon be chomping like a horse. But Cassie says anything's better than the dreams.

Oh, you mean I spent that much time on Telekinetic Tessa, and it was only a dream? Yeah, but of course a dream is never "only" a dream on this show.

Wait! I'm forgetting the most important bit: Thelma's hair. It's fab. Fetching. Foxy. And funny, because everything about Thelma is kinda funny. And funny is sexy, so it's all good.

Cassie wanders out into the hall, while the camera wanders outside to give us a nice spooky shot of Medenham Hall (is it just me, or do they have only about four different outside shots of the place?). Ah, but there really is something different about Medenham: there seems to be a gargoyle perched on it, except of course the gargoyle is moving. Cassie hears it move as she stomps down the stairs, and then suddenly sees the beastie at the window. She half-screams, and then the camera gets so close to her nostrils, I suddenly feel like I'm watching the Blair Witch Project.

She hides in the kitchen, where she finds some sort of mousse-like dessert that bears a marked resemblance to an old beige sponge. She dips a finger in (oh, no, am I already accidentally tossing out innuendoes?) and is just about to lick... when she hears another noise. Assuming the source of the noise is the gargoylish thing, she sends a tray flying across the room at it (telekinetically, of course) and then conks it with a ladle — but of course it's not the gargoyle. It's Felix. Who? You know, that dorky kid from series one; the one who kept talking about Aliens.

Cassie apologizes and scurries off. Felix is confused.

The next day — Medenham is bustling. I like to think of the place as Larkhall-meets-Hogwarts, although I suppose that's just confusing. Cassie is at her locker, telling Thelma about the hideous gargoylish thing she saw. She says it was a Nephaelim. Thelma points out that this means there are "another 199 of those little monsters just waiting to say hello."

Thelma: "It also means —"
Cassie: "Yes. I'm very well aware of what it also means."

In case you're not very well aware, I'll summarize: Cassie gave birth at the end of the last series, even though she tried to have an abortion. If that's confusing, wait 'til you hear this: her baby is Azazeal's son, and his birth means the release of 200 Nephaelim. Cassie's solution to all of this? Find Azazeal, torture him, and then kill him. Excellent: please be sure to get that on tape.

English literature class — Leon's babbling about something sexual again. Guess who bugs me even more than Azazeal does?

Thelma and Cassie are chatting while they wait for Jo the English teacher to arrive:

Thelma: "Cassie, if there was something you'd always dreamed of doing, but you never could... and then you found a way, but the way was morally dubious, what would you do?"
Cassie: "I'm not gonna sleep with you, Thelma."
Thelma: "Not that.
Cassie: "And you can't trick me."
Thelma: "I don't want to!"
Cassie: "'Cause I'm just not into it, okay?"
Thelma: [pausing] "Now I think you're protesting too much."

These two are so good at the flirtatious banter thing. But it seems to me that in series one, they only bantered when nobody else was around — why is it that none of the other students find it strange that Cassie's talking to thin air? (The others can't see Thelma the ghost. Only we and Cassie can, and aren't we all lucky?)

Jo the teacher arrives, chugging a bottle of water and looking like she hasn't slept or bathed in weeks. The students are amused. I'm just confused, because despite her disheveled appearance, there's something about Jo that's kinda hot.

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