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Lesbian
Friends:
Legacy of a Sitcom (page 5)
by Sarah Warn, May 2004
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Unlike
the men, who live in a constant state of fear that someone
will think they're gay (as evidenced by many moments where they
quickly pull out of hugs, or make jokes about Chandler's perceived
homosexuality), the straight women of Friends have no
problem with anyone thinking they're gay or bisexual (unless that
person mistakenly thinks they're interested in a relationship
with them, as we'll see in the example below).
All
three of the female Friends kiss other women at some
point during the series, and even Rachel's temporarily single
mother gets into the act at one point, enthusing at Carol and
Susan's wedding, "I just danced with a wonderfully large
woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet.
Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice
to know I have options."
In
episode 7.20, Rachel runs into an old friend from college (played
by Winona Ryder), with whom "one night, senior year we went
to a party, had a lot of sangria and y'know, ended up...kissing
for a bit." Even though she is not gay or even bisexual,
Rachel is not ashamed of this brief foray into homosexual activity
years ago; she's even a little proud of it, as she demonstrates
here in an exchange with Melissa (Ryder), who initially refuses
to acknowledge their lesbian encounter in college:
RACHEL:
Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in
my entire life, and I'm not gonna let you take that away from
me! Okay, so if you don't remember that, maybe you will remember
this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
MELISSA: My God! You love me!
RACHEL: (shocked) What?
MELISSA: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all
the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin' together I...
(Phoebe is shocked.) I just didn't want to tell you 'cause I
didn't think that you'd return my love, and now that you have...
(Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
RACHEL: (moving away) Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
MELISSA: Aww, look who's being suddenly shy. You can't tell
me you don't feel what I feel. Nobody can kiss that good and
not mean it. (Goes in again.)
RACHEL: (moves away again) I-I-I-I'm just...I'm just a good
kisser!
MELISSA: (suddenly frightened) Shut up!
RACHEL: I'm sorry!
MELISSA: (laughs) Oh you don't have to be (Laughs again) sorry.
I'm...I'm obviously kidding. I'm not in love with you. (To Phoebe)
I'm not in love with her. I don't hear coconuts banging together.
Yeah, I don't...picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend.
Anyway, I gotta go. Eh...kiss good-bye? (Rachel stares at her
stunned.) No? Okay. (Hurries into the cab and drives off.)
Phoebe then unexpectedly kisses Rachel, as well. "What
the hell was that?" Rachel asks, to which Phoebe responds,
"I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about."
"And?" Rachel asks her. "I've had better,"
Phoebe shrugs.
Scenes
like these and the overall ease with which the women on
Friends are willing to engage in light homosexual
activity (or at least are not afraid of it) tend to reinforce
the notion that female sexuality is more fluid than male
sexuality, and that women in general are more tolerant of
lesbianism and lesbian relationships than men.
Interestingly,
however, the show never does introduce or even reference
any actual bisexual women, only lesbians or bi-curious
straight women. Carol wasn't a bisexual woman married to
a man who fell in love with another woman, she was a lesbian
who just hadn't realized it yet; similarly, by her last
statement about picturing Rachel's face when having sex
with her boyfriend, we are led to believe that Melissa is
also a lesbian-in-waiting, rather than bisexual. And Joey's
comments aside, the Hot Nanny doesn't appear likely to succumb
to his advances anytime soon.
This
avoidance of the topic of bisexuality or bisexual characters
is fairly consistent with the invisibility of bisexual women
on television in general, however, a taboo that has only
recently begun to be challenged.
Ultimately,
the attitude of Friends towards lesbianism and
bisexuality is one of tolerance and acceptance, even as it also
positions lesbians as outsiders and bisexual women as nonexistent.
The straight characters on the show evince contradictory attitudes
towards lesbianism and bisexuality, but these fairly accurately
reflect the conflicting and evolving feelings of the American
public towards this subject in the last decade.
Friends pushed the envelope in terms of lesbian visibility
and desensitized viewers to the topic through scenes like Carol
and Susan's wedding in 1995, the repeated use of the word "lesbian"
on primetime TV when that was still a rarity, a few lesbian kisses
in the latter half of the series, and the debunking of the notion
that straight women can be "converted" by lesbians.
Over the lifetime of the series Susan and Carol have remained
in a strong, committed relationship, and in the process become
one of the longest-running lesbian couples on television, even
if their presence diminished significantly over time (they didn't
surface at all in Season 10).
So
while the lesbians on Friends may never have been a large
part of the series, and the contradictory male attitudes towards
lesbianism frustrating at times, the show ultimately made it easier
for later television shows to introduce lesbians and lesbian topics--and
gave viewers a humorous and sympathetic glimpse, however fleeting,
into the lives of two lesbians and their friends.
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