ER recap: Time of Death (Season Eleven, Episode Six) (original air date 11 Nov 2004)

THIS WEEK'S PROGNOSES:

• The old guard: Absent.
• Everybody else: Boring.

Typos are funny — When I first typed the title, I wrote "Tim of Death." Enjoy the giggle, because this episode of ER has absolutely nothing to offer in the way of giggling or even enjoyment.

Somewhere — These people don't look good; they're all kind of pale and ill-looking. The extremely close camera angle is not helping and is preventing me from figuring out where they are. Oh, ha ha — they're all in the ER, waiting to be seen.

There's Sara Gilbert again. I'm not sure she's very capable of playing non-snarky people.

Pratt starts grumbling about patients who don't really deserve any help. Sam tries to put him in his place, but I don't think anyone will ever be able to do that.

A guy falls out of his chair — he's one of the people Pratt was calling unworthy. He's Ray Liotta. We're supposed to think that's great, but there might be a reason Ray hasn't been heard from in a while. But we're definitely hearing from him now: he's hollering a lot and writhing on the gurney.

Jane (Sara Gilbert) gets the secretary assignment for this one. Aww.

In the next bed, a kid named Jeremy is telling the story of how the TV fell on him. Was ER on at the time? Because that would be kinda funny.

Charlie (Ray Liotta) has a tummy problem. He's also done time for murder and likes to drink. In jail, he learned how to make "pruno," which is a disgusting mix of fermented fruit and bread, stewed in toilet water and strained through socks.

Charlie: "You don't know what it's like to need a drink."
Abby: "I can imagine."

Charlie doesn't want Luka to do a rectal exam. Come on, a lot of people would consider that a pretty good deal.

They put a tube down Charlie's nose. They think maybe the pressure in his liver has backed up and made the veins in his esophagus bleed into his tummy. Is this going to be one of those very special episodes that teaches us not to abuse alcohol? It's not going to work: if drinking will bring me closer to Abby, then I say bottoms up!

They wheel Charlie to Trauma One. He looks all worried and freaked out, and apparently that's supposed to really grab us, because nobody ever looks worried and freaked out on this show.

Trauma One — Sam calls Pratt a prick. Do it again! It has no effect on Pratt, who keeps grumbling about having to help an alcoholic ex-con, and eventually storms out. Seeya.

Whenever Jane talks, she sounds a bit like Weaver. That's confusing.

The hallway — Pratt sort of apologies to Luka. It turns out it's personal somehow, but I just can't find the energy to care.

Back in Trauma One — Luka explains the hell that is cirrhosis. Charlie has less than a 50% chance of surviving, and if he does make it, it won't be for long. Don't let this happen to you, kids: just say no.

Charlie says he's not ready to die because he has too many things to do. That's funny: sometimes I think I'd rather die exactly when I have too many things to do, because it would really clear my schedule.

Another trauma room — Abby kicks Neela and Doogie out because their room has suction. Yes, that's really what happened. They wheel Charlie into this other trauma room. The set department thanks them for the challenge: two different locations in one episode! Woohoo!

Sam talks to Charlie about his son, Bobby. But Charlie hasn't talked to Bobby since he was little. Oh, it's going to be a very special alcoholic-reconciles-with-family episode.

Sam calls Bobby while Charlie undergoes some more tubing and prodding and such. Then she puts Bobby on the speaker phone. It's all awkward; eventually the kid just says "Nice knowing you" and hangs up. Hey, it's all in the interest of patient care. Nicely done, Sam.

Charlie's life starts to flash before his eyes then, in a series of images that's kind of unsettling. A very special ER that you'll never, ever forget, at least not until the next alcoholic-with-family-troubles episode.

We learn more about Charlie's past, but we don't really care more about it.

Hey, Carter's not in this episode. That's one good thing. But neither is Weaver. That's not a new thing. Oh, and neither is Lewis. Where did all of the tried and true go?

It turns out Charlie's life went downhill after his wife was hit by a car. More tubing follows the little story, and then Luka encourages Charlie to keep talking. Please don't do that.

Still in the trauma room with suction— Charlie's kidneys have failed. Still he clings to life. Sorry, Charlie.

The nephrologist comes in, and then everybody starts talking about all the things they want to try, and Charlie tries to ask questions but nobody's listening.

Abby tells Charlie he's going to need dialysis three times a week, plus a liver transplant, if he survives. Okay, Chuck, it's time to accept your fate. And that's what he does. Could we move on to another patient now? No.

Suddenly Pratt decides to be on Charlie's side, despite the earlier whining. But Abby's the one who really knows what Charlie needs: she suggests an alcohol drip. Wow, who knew that even existed?

Charlie's not ready to give us or himself the peace we all so desperately need, so he asks Sam to call his son again. Because that went really well the last time.

Oh, by the way, Abby has not cut her hair (it just sorta looked like that in the preview last week). She just has it piled up and pulled back, and whatever she wants to do with it is perfectly fine with me.

Charlie asks them to open a window, so Sam does. What? There are windows in the trauma rooms? Huh.

Charlie finally says something interesting: he doesn't want the blinders and screens of all the hospital apparatus; he wants to face his death. But not without the alcohol drip, of course.

Charlie starts to hallucinate again, and sees himself as a young guy. Hey, that seems like some fancy camera work: he really looks like a young Ray Liotta.

Charlie is dying and knows it. He asks Sam to touch his face. That is going to be the last thing I ask for when I die. Touching, yeah, but my face? Nah, somewhere else.

All of Charlie's hallucinations have ER docs and nurses in them. Abby's an airline ticket clerk at one point, and I find it kinda sexy. But she could probably be dressed as a janitor and I would find it sexy.

Charlie finally gets on a bus in one of his hallucinations. Seeya! And could you please shut off that annoying high-pitched sound effect on your way out? And the deep humming bass too. I guess death makes your ears ring. The sounds are bothering my cat.

Finally — Charlie dies. Pratt says "12:04." It turns out that's also what time Doogie's pizza arrived. Geez, what a waste of an episode.

NEXT TIME ON ER: Sam makes a mistake. Carter says the word "miracle." Yes, it might actually be worse than this week.

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