THIS WEEK'S PROGNOSES:

• Carter: Same crap, different season.
• Neela: Like a bird on a midnight train, she will try in her way to be free.
• Lockhart: Heroism, heart, and hotness.

Carter's nightmare — It's a dark and stormy night. Carter is rudely awakened by the sound of a baby crying and his grandmother calling to him. He rushes to the rescue: alas, it's just an empty room. That's right, John Carter: you're all alone and you're inherently unlovable. What's amazing is that it's taken you this long to figure that out.

Sam's apartment — Sam is worried that her ex-husband will just show up again someday. Luka says he can keep her and Alex safe, especially if they move in with him, but he seems utterly adrift when he says "scrambled or fried?" and Sam says, "poached." What kind of security can you offer if you can't even poach a damn egg, Luka? Hmm, on the other hand: what kind of writing is this, that we're supposed to find that interesting or funny or somehow revealing of Luka's two-dimensional character?

Abby's apartment — It looks like Abby is out of coffee. Hang on: I'll run get some, and whatever else you want. Anything. Anytime. Really.

But first you should go answer the phone. I hope it's Neela, offering to be your breakfast. Oops, I mean "bring you" breakfast. Oh, silly me: Neela's actually there, in the apartment, on the couch, and the phone is for her. I don't like the way Abby kinda thwaps her to wake her up. Wait, maybe I do.

I think maybe Neela's mom is on the phone. Anyway, it's somebody Neela doesn't really want to talk to at the moment, because Abby's turning on the shower and getting ready to get in it, all with the bathroom door open. You couldn't see that on your TV? Squint next time.

A Yoplait commercial — Look, it's Leisha Hailey! It's just a silly yogurt commercial, and I'm not sure about her hair, but everything she says is kinda gay-sounding. How long 'til The L Word starts up again? Yeah, too long. I'll just have to watch this commercial over and over 'til then. That yogurt is deleishous.

Abby and Neela's love nest — Neela is rushing around, putting dirty dishes in the cabinet and doing other ineffectual things to tidy up. Apparently her parents tried to reach her in Michigan, and now they're on their way to see her. Abby just watches, looking slightly amused, and then gets ready to go.

Neela: "What are you doing?"
Abby: "I'm getting out of your way."
Neela: "No, please, don't leave me."

So Abby says of course she won't, and pulls Neela close for a kiss. Oh, was that only on my TV again? Squint harder.

What she really does is tell Neela she'll be fine, and asks her how long she thinks she'll be needing the couch. But she also does an affectionate thing: a strand of Neela's hair is in her eyes a bit, sorta stuck to her eyelashes or something, so Abby gently frees it. These mixed messages are confusing me: I need to flex my subtext muscles. I haven't needed them much since the Xena days.

There's a knock at the door: it's Neela's parents, looking concerned. Neela says, "Mom, Dad, you remember Abby," and my subtext muscles twitch to life, because what a very cute couple they are! The doctors, not the parents.

The ambulance bay — Luka tells Carter he looks like hell. Carter makes up some excuse about staying up late to watch a movie. They talk about Chen and Pratt a little, but we don't care, because that was the last episode and we know there's no continuity from one episode to the next on this show. Luka mentions Weaver, which I'm sure is the only "appearance" Weaver will make, because she was in the last episode and we know there's no continuity of lesbians from one episode to the next on this show.

The guy in the ambulance just got back from Iraq, and he doesn't look good.

Inside — Oh, whaddya know — there's Kerry. She gives Abby a little lecture about learning to delegate to nurses and med students. Yeah, Abby, you should practice being the top while you're on the job, so that you can put those skills to good use when you go home to Neela. Hey, if Weaver can be in two episodes in a row, anything can happen.

And so, in trying to take Weaver's advice, Abby proceeds to piss off Haleh and Sam. The med student who's shadowing Abby says it's a good idea to try to get on the nurses' good side. Abby smiles sweetly and thanks her for the tip — what self control! You can put that skill to good use when you go home to Neela. Yeah, that joke is already tired.

Abby's apartment — Neela and her parents stare into their teacups. Neela finally says she doesn't know if she wants to be a doctor. Her dad starts to yell, so Neela pounds on the countertop and says she needs to figure a few things out, like what she wants to do and how she wants her life to be. Her dad tells her she's no longer a child, so she tells him to stop treating her like one. Wow, maybe Neela's really the one on top.

Mr. and Mrs. Rasgotra also want to know when Neela's going to start chipping in, so her brothers and sisters can go to university too. Yikes. No pressure or anything.

The ER — All the nurses are ganging up on Abby, and not in the way that I wish they would (well, you know, not including Malik). Haleh starts questioning Abby's every move. Despite the tension, Abby manages to teach a med student a way to use a sheet to reduce a dislocation. I seem to remember seeing this trick in a past episode, long ago when this show did not suck. Recycling is not the answer.

Meanwhile, the guy who just got back from Iraq has a sinus infection that has spread to his brain. You're kidding: that can happen? I get sinus infections fairly often. Now I'm gonna be freaked out about them.

Carter seems to identify with the guy, because they both have bad dreams. Whatever, Carter.

Abby decides to do a complete exam on Marta, the girl who had the dislocated shoulder or whatever, 'cause Abby suspects abuse. The mom, or aunt or whoever, won't let it happen; the girl freaks out too and calls Abby a puta. Woah!

Elsewhere, Kerry scolds one of the new med students for looking too cool: he's sporting tattoos and fingernail polish. Lighten up, Weaver. Carter happens by, so Weaver asks him about Kem; and he asks her about Henry. These two are always so pointedly considerate of each other, and it seems to have very little to do with actual fondness. Back when the show didn't suck, there was a weird affection between them, but now it's just some sort of sad routine.

Neela shows up, wanting to talk to Weaver. Are you gonna ask for a job, or just get the name of a good gay bar so you can take Abby out on the town? Actually, I don't think Weaver can help you there. I'd try Chuny.

A patient suddenly goes nuts and hits Carter in the head with something. He tackles her. C'mon, woman, hit him again!

Neela asks Weaver for a job, doing anything. Weaver is not friendly and tells her to go back to Michigan before it's too late. Tsk tsk, Kerry: you just want Abby all to yourself.

Abby's trying to figure out what's up with Marta. It turns out that the woman who brought her in is not her mom or aunt, and her sisters are not her sisters, and the ones who have been hurting her are "los hombres." Oh, god. Save them, Abby!

Outside — Luka tells Sam he's in love with her. It's all very sweet, until some marine biologists bring in their co-worker, who needs help because there's some sort of shark attached to his leg. Geez. Forget the subtext muscles: I need to get my eye-rolling muscles back in shape.

A cafeteria/store sort of thing — Neela's parents want to take her back to Michigan. She still just wants to figure out what she wants. Neela's mom tells Mr. Rasgotra to go get them a cab, and of course that's because she wants to talk to Neela alone. She reminds her daughter that they made big sacrifices to get her through med school, and that failing to take advantage of the opportunity she's been given is not the way to find herself. Hmm. Smart mom. But Neela's not having it: she's tired of doing exactly what her parents tell her to do. Hmm. Smart Neela. I vote for whichever option keeps her on Abby's couch.

An exam room — Chuny translates so Abby can get the full story about Marta, who was abducted from Mexico when she was 12, and is now a "damage girl" for men to hit and use however they will. She no longer knows how old she is, and her name's not really Marta; it's Tesoro. Sometimes this damn show still moves me a little.

The street — Neela's parents get in a cab and go home; her mom seems to have accepted that Neela's going to do her own thing. Neela's dad says they can't help her anymore. That in itself is probably going to be a big help, Pops. He also says that when Neela was a little girl, she wanted to fly away like a bird, and now she's done it. Yes, Neela, fly free! Be yourself! Come out!

The ER — Abby isn't quite happy with the system: she wants Tesoro to be sent right back home to her parents, but first there's a lot of bureaucracy to get through. She sighs one of her unique Abby sighs, and then notices Neela sniffling in the corner.

Abby: "I'm off at 8:00, we can talk then."
Neela: "I'll wait around."
Abby: "You're gonna wait around for three hours?"
Neela: "I've got nothing better to do."
Abby: "Okay. Hey, you don't speak Spanish, do you?"
Neela: "Punjabi, French, a bit of Farsi, a smattering of German, some —"
Abby: "All right, all right, all right."

Cute!

Abby tells Tesoro she might get to go home to Mexico, but Tesoro says her family doesn't want her anymore. Abby refuses to believe that and promptly calls up Tesoro's mom. It's all very teary, and we can see that Abby lives for this stuff.

Elsewhere, the Iraq war vet says the war is a good thing, and admits that he kind of has to believe that now that he has implants in his face. He says some other stuff about his ex-fiancée and Carter takes it all personally, like everything else. Then Carter barks at everyone, so Luka tells him to go home.

The ambulance bay — Two guys have been badly beaten with a tire jack. Guess why? Yep, it's a hate crime: they were kissing. Their friend tells the story; the guys get wheeled in for that special ER care, and the hyper it's-time-to-save-a-life music starts.

Both guys are in bad shape. Their friend starts to freak out and says "You can't just kill people for kissing in the park." Sigh.

Abby runs through all the possibilities as she tries to work her magic, but there's just nothing left to do. Haleh says, "It's your call, Abby. You're the doctor." Abby looks like she'd rather be just about anything else right now.

Magoo's, I think — Carter doesn't want his usual iced coffee and BLT. Well, that was an important scene.

At death's door — Abby finally decides to call it, but first she gives Robert (the friend) some time to say goodbye. Robert says, "Thank you: you made me strong. You let me see who I was, and to know that it was okay." Bad grammar, but great sentiment. But the whole thing has been kind of rushed, so it's sort of hard to feel the moment.

Abby goes to the other room to help Luka, and flatly says "My guy died." Okay, now I'm feeling the moment a little. Suddenly Corday shows up — why bother to give her two minutes now and then? We all know she's been kicked to the curb.

Abby scolds Luka for leaving her alone with the other guy. Luka admits that he didn't think there was much hope for the guy, so he wasn't worried about Abby's lack of experience. Well, I'm sure that makes Abby feel just great.

Carter comes back, looking stoned, to tell the vet to call his ex-fiancée before it's too late. Everybody stares and wonders what the hell is wrong with Carter; well, they probably don't have to wonder. Yet another recycled storyline, courtesy of the tired, jaded writers.

The woman from Child Protective Services arrives. Abby is not happy to hear that Tesoro is going to be bounced from one foster home to another for six to eight months before she'll get to go home. Yeah, the system sucks. So Abby does the obvious thing and gives Neela some money and a few orders, and Neela whisks Tesoro off to the train station. But first Tesoro gives Abby a big hug. Awww.

The break room — Carter whines about everything that's wrong. Luka listens, looking like he's making a grocery list in his head.

The train station — Tesoro doesn't think she can handle the journey. Yeah, I guess this why a sucky system is better than nothing at all.

The ER — Abby asks Carter if he wants to go to a meeting. Nah, he's fine.

As Norah Jones sings — Sam and Luka kiss in the ambulance bay.

Back inside, Carter calls Kem.

And on a train somewhere in the night, Tesoro sleeps, her head on Neela's shoulder. Right on, Neela: that's making your own way.

And Dr. Lockhart, the new heart of this show, mourns the death of the gay college student from Milwaukee, and reconciles with Haleh. "It was a good code," says Haleh, as Norah says "The long day is over."

NEXT TIME ON ER: Abby says "hey"; Corday says "screw it." Sorry, I got absolutely nothing else from that rapid-fire series of images.

Recap of Episode 11.1