ER rec(r)ap: Back In The World (Season Eleven, Episode Sixteen)
(original air date 24 March 2005)

THIS WEEK'S PROGNOSES:

• Gallant: Two-dimensional.
• Neela: Neurotic.
• Everyone else: Boring.

The beginning — I dunno, there's something about Neela and Gallant and blah blah — I didn't watch the last episode, and the show has been on hiatus for so long, it wouldn't matter if I had.

Cease fire — Pratt talks to a woman who works for a violence prevention program called Cease Fire. Pratt thinks the woman is hot. So do I. Especially when she sort of scoffs at Pratt's attempt to charm her.

Traffic — Sam and Alex are stuck in traffic. Alex reveals that he's received a letter from his scary dad. Great. We didn't get enough of that storyline the first time.

Welcome back — Dubenko is talking about the Iraqi mother and child that were brought in (again, I don't know, don't care, and hate that this show is exploiting the war for such barely dramatic purposes). Dubenko also reveals that Gallant is actually there, which Neela didn't know. She gets a little flustered. Okay, I guess Gallant is kinda cute, but Neela, you were living with Abby. You threw that away and now I'm done with you.

Another person I'm done with — Carter is looking at some plans for a new hospital or something. The woman who's showing him the plans is rather lovely. I'm sure that means she'll fall for Carter.

Anspaugh shows up, offering Kerry's apologies. She's apparently supposed to be there, but she had an "appropriations meeting." Are you sure? Are you sure she didn't just stumble down the wrong hallway and end up in lesbian limbo like every other primetime lesbian character?

Actually, I'm gonna go with that — because that way I can pretend Kim was waiting in the hallway, and that the hallway is very dark and full of pillows.

So, apparently the plans are for a primary care and HIV clinic, made possible by a donation from the Carter Foundation (yawn). But it seems there's no space for an HIV clinic. Carter's not happy. Okay, so does this mean the architect/planner can come home with me, since she won't be following John Boy?

A GSW — A kid named Victor was shot by his own gun, which was in his pocket. Pratt asks him why he owns a gun. "Protectin' myself," says the kid. Obviously that worked out. So subtle!

The lounge — Neela is leaving voice mail for Gallant. Abby strolls in and asks a few pointed questions. Neela is evasive, so Abby finally says "Should I continue being oblivious, or do you wanna explain why you're bleeding from your cuticles?"

Neela: "I'm not crazy, am I?"
Abby: "Crazy?"
Neela: "How did I manage to build up feelings for someone I've spoken to once in the past year?"

Same way I've managed to build up feelings for Dr. Weaver, whom I've seen for about twelve seconds in the past year.

Abby, ever the romantic, points out that they've been exchanging letters. Neela says the letters don't mean anything, and also that they do, and that she's furious and desperate and neurotic.

Abby: "You know, I was ready to bestow my sage wisdom, but... I think you've got it covered."

But then Abby is sympathetic and sweet and says that Neela and Gallant were once very close.

They were? Like, hmm, was she sleeping on his couch and eating all his breakfast cereal? No. That's what she did at your house. And other stuff we didn't get to see, I'm sure.

Victor the gun-toter — Victor's mom shows up; turns out it was her gun. And she gave it to him.

And who is she? She looks familiar.

An aching back and an addled brain — A patient thinks Neela can fix his back pain. He's wearing a unitard, or actually a superhero suit, and he can't take it off because his wife (who died 19 weeks ago) used to call him Clark and told him he had a secret strength. So now he wears the suit under his clothes, sort of as a way to keep his wife close. Aww. That's actually kinda sweet. Neela thinks so too.

Here we go again — Sam tells Luka that her ex is on his way to town. She says it's her problem; Luka says it's theirs. That is not as sweet as the superman suit guy.

Victor Vigilante and his mom — Victor's a smart kid who speaks his mind. That's why a kid at his school shot him. Geez.

The admit desk — Neela and Luka are talking about patients. Carter shows up and talks to Haleh and Lily about Gallant, and he does so loudly, because we're supposed to get the idea that Neela's hearing every word. But all that really happens is I get pissed off, because it's impossible to understand two conversations that are going on at the same time and it's giving me a headache. Get Dr. Weaver over here, stat! I need some sexual healing.

Outside — Neela goes to the sidewalk cart to get her usual coffee and jelly donut, and sees Gallant walking toward her. She runs and jumps into his arms, and he seems to be very happy to see her too. Yes, war brings people together, doesn't it?

They go to a bar. Neela scolds him a little for not getting in touch with her sooner. Gallant seems kinda haunted or edgy or something, and I don't like his mustache. He says it feels weird to be back in the world and that he's leaving the next day.

Neela's phone rings, and then her pager beeps, but she wants to stay with Gallant. He says that he went to see the family of a guy he knew in Iraq, to give the guy's daughter a gift. He keeps telling the story, and the music swells, and we're supposed to feel the tragedy and the loss and the sorrow, and I do, but not because of this stupid show — I didn't need Gallant to tell me that the war is hellish and wrong and generally sucks.

How time changes people — Sam's ex is there. That is so not the same actor who played him before. The hell?

Pratt keeps trying — Pratt wants Olivia (the hot one from the violence prevention program) to save Victor from himself.

Back at the bar — Neela and Gallant play pool and flirt. ;ahg/bn b a.fdfhb Oh — sorry, that was me falling asleep on my keyboard.

Abby shows up at the bar. She and Gallant share an awkward moment. What is Abby's hair doing? Perhaps it's doing an impression of Gallant's mustache. Oh well; the point is that her heart is (as usual) doing the right thing, by leaving Neela and Gallant to play pool.

On her way out, Abby winks at Neela. Do it again! Winking in a cute or sexy way is a rare skill. I suspect Abby has many rare skills.

Violence prevention — Olivia tells Victor to stay away from problem situations so he can grow up and fix the world. She volunteers Pratt to walk the kid to school for a week. Haha! Take that, playa.

Listen to the nurse, dammit — Sam figures out that Victor has a bullet fragment in his right knee. Ray argues with her, but she tells him he's wrong. She also tells him he's disgusting and pompous and annoying and ugly and smells bad. Whoops; maybe that was me.

Then Sam marches out into the hallway and sees her ex, Steve. Luka watches with a grim look on his face. You know, like the look he always has on his face.

Not only is this not the same guy who played Sam's ex before, he doesn't even look remotely similar. Am I confused? Probably. Sam gives Steve some money. Clearly she's even more confused than I am.

Perceptions — Neela and Gallant talk about identity and how people see you and then decide to have dinner. Yeah, philosophy makes me hungry too.

Frank does something useful — Frank, who's an ex-cop, pulls up Steve's record and finds an arrest warrant. Luka is about to talk to Sam about it, but Sam is concerned about Victor, who's going up for surgery.

But then Luka tells Sam about Steve, but Susan interrupts to get Sam to take another shift, and I begin to understand why I feel so disjointed when I watch this show. Anyway, Luka offers to take care of Alex. Sweet.

Oops — Susan asks Carter if he wants to bring Wendall over for dinner sometime. Carter explains that Wendall got a brain and dumped him. He then says that he feels like he's "fallen off the tracks" and is still trying to figure out how to get back on. Don't bother, Carter: that train done left the station.

Please tell me she doesn't actually like him — Olivia tells Pratt that yes, he really does have to walk Victor to school every day. She gives Pratt her spiel about the domestic violence program and tells him to come by and see it in action sometime. I shiver with anticipation, or perhaps with mild nausea.

What a surprise — Neela and Gallant stop by Neela's place on their way to dinner so Neela can change. Gallant "accidentally" sees her in her bra. I can't argue with him: it's a nice sight.

Sam's place — Steve is stealing stuff. Luka is more worried about Alex than the stuff. Steve kind of pushes Luka, which is enough to push Luka over the edge. Punch him harder, Luka!

Alex comes out of the apartment and says he's going to Florida with his dad. But Luka's not gonna let that happen. Steve listens to reason, which is surprising, considering that he drives an El Camino.

Sappy — Neela's all dressed up for Gallant. He says, "If that's your deep dish pizza outfit, I'm glad I didn't say French food." Snort. Yeah, you guessed it; they're not going to dinner after all. I, on the other hand, am starving: for some actual drama that features at least one lesbian. I know, I'm a fool.

Afterwards, Gallant's idea of pillow talk is more war stories. I blot out half the screen with my hand, so I can see Neela in the bed and imagine that Kiera Knightley is next to her instead of Gallant.

Gallant says he wishes he could go back to who he was. Neela says "All we can do is keep moving forward."

Huh. I actually kinda like that, even if it is a bit obvious.

They go to the burn unit to visit the Iraqi woman and kid. Neela has to answer a page; Gallant says he'll wait for her to come back. I know he's lying. Somehow, I don't care.

Downstairs in the E.R., Neela discovers that the superhero guy has a bunch of problems she completely missed. Abby says nobody would have caught them, but I bet those rare Abby skills would have.

Sam's place — Alex is mad. Sam tries to convince him that they're a family now, with Luka. Alex cries — probably because he can't believe how boring his storyline is.

Exit — Gallant watches through the window as everybody works on the superhero guy. Pratt goes into the hall to make a call. Gallant gives Pratt a letter and asks him to give it to Neela if anything happens to him. And then everybody rushes out of the room and gets the superhero guy into the elevator, and Gallant and Neela gaze at each other as the elevator doors close.

Outside — Luka drops Alex off at school, but doesn't get a hug.

Bed — Neela puts Gallant's letter in a box on her nightstand.

War — Gallant finds an envelope in his stuff. It's a bracelet. I guess it's from Neela, but how do I know? Whatever.

Staring up at the same sky — Gallant watches a helicopter. So does Neela. Get it? Different helicopters, different lives, same windy air. Well, if that's all it takes, I'm going to start referring to myself as Jennifer Beals' girlfriend. I'm sure she won't mind.

NEXT WEEK ON ER: Another repeat.

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