America's Next Top Model : Cycle 7 Recaps:
Episode 7 “The Girl Who Wrecks the Car" (page 4)
by D. Yueh
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Panel - Tyra stands before the group and begins this week's blood-letting. She introduces the panel members for the umpteenth time, and just like every single damn week, when she gets to “living legend” Twiggy, Twiggy does what she always does. She cocks her head to the right and says, “hell-oh.” Are you sure she's a living legend? Because I think she died last July and that's a hologram.
The panel test this week is to act out one randomly selected verb and one adverb. This is rich considering I'm not sure they all know what adverbs are.
Eugena get the combo “shake” and “flirtatiously.” She shimmies and shakes impassively and that's that. Amanda (or is it? Who the hell knows?) has to “ski sadly.” Which is worse, her lame-ass cross-country moves or the yodeling music they play underneath her as she does it?
Jaeda tries to “skip sensually” which in her mind means to imitate a stripper. Michelle “swims frightfully” and it is frightful, but for different reasons.
Sad sack Anchal is supposed to “dance aggressively” but Tyra's face is saying “what the hell was that?” Anchal doesn't have it in her to be aggressive or anything other than no-trying, I-give-up, I'm-too-fat-to-live Anchal.
Melrose pulls “box joyfully” but instead of doing a happy pugilist, she started voguing with her hands “boxing” in her face. Nigel is laughing, but he's with her.
CariDee has to “hide dizzily” and she does the best two minutes I've seen on the show. She's on her hands and knees, she's behind the wall, she's rolling around the floor, all with a dumbass look on her face that's totally priceless. The panel is cracking up.
Show Me You Want It - The panel opens their weekly can of whoop ass on the girls. Tyra tells Eugena she reminds her of Naomi Campbell, and we all know how she feels about Naomi. Eugena's TruBlend space shot kinda sucks.
Amanda's picture looks like “a dead spider,” according to Nigel. Jaeda gets spanked for having no control over her face in the wind tunnel. Her upper lip was about to fold back over her eyebrows, what do you want?
Anchal is told she's a wimp, a pretty face with no ambition, an empty lump, even if her shots are nice. But how do you really feel?
Melrose commitment to her misinterpretation of “boxing” was a big hit. If you're going to be wrong, do it with gusto!
CariDee gets lots of love for her Models in Space shot and especially for hiding dizzily. She does get scolded for not taking instructions, though. Tyra is Safety Girl and doesn't want to see anyone get hurt.
They have nothing good to say about Michelle this week, especially about her lack of commitment and desire to be a model. Like with Megg, and A.J., when the panel senses their time and money are being wasted, you are gone like a sophomore's gag reflex at the end of Spring Break.
The Biggest Loser - Tyra rattles off the names. She calls everyone except Anchal and Michelle. Please, please, please, let it be Anchal. Tyra thinks Anchal's face is “so absolutely beautiful, it was almost scary.” How about she's just scary. I've never thought she was all that. Her mouth is too small, her eyes are too far apart, her whole head is too big.
Michelle has “natural talent” but she doesn't want it. Which will it be? Slowly, Tyra pulls the last photo… “So, Michelle, you have to start showing us that you want this.” Yippee!
Anchal give Tyra a hug and thanks her. She hugs the other girls too, but since no one really liked her, they don't cry the way they did for Brooke and the others. Anchal and Melrose exchange “I hate you's” and Anchal waddles off into the sunset.
Next week - The girls take a trip either to Spain or El Cid on West Sunset. I can't tell which.
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