America's Next Top Model : Cycle 7 Recaps:
Episode 7 “The Girl Who Wrecks the Car" (page 3)
by D. Yueh
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Nobody Like Me, Everybody Hates Me, Think I'll Go Eat Half a Dozen Eggs – Back at the house, the girls are reviewing who they like and who they don't like. Again. Friendless Anchal cries, “I just want to get away from it, it's affecting me,” as she runs up the stair to hide. Stop being such a mopey kill joy and maybe someone would want to hang out with you.
Tyra Mail - "Tomorrow you will defy the biggest model stereotype. Don't be an airhead. Love, Tyra" What's with all the “Love, Tyra?” Tyra never signs her mail “l8r, T.,” or “Peace out,” or “Don't steal anything,” or something cool like that.
Cover Girls in Space - The next challenge is at an airfield, where Jay is there to tell them, “Today is your very first Cover Girl assignment.” They're there to promote TruBlend Whipped Foundation, and do they ever. The product is practically shoved down our throats with multiple close-ups of the label, in case you missed it the first three times they say the name TruBlend, and Anchal oohing and aahing over its magical qualities as Sutan applies her sixth layer.
After they apply enough TruBlend to paint my bathroom, the girls don white cat suits, boots, gloves, matching crash helmets and protective goggles. They look like big suppositories.
They're brought to a skydiving training room that's basically a large vertical tunnel with a giant fan in the floor powerful enough to lift them off the ground. The girls will have to master the art of flying and flipping around as if they're really skydiving.
This is going to be cool.
The instructors are experts using the tunnel and make it look way too easy. Michelle goes in first, with an instructor holding her by her pant leg and the back of her collar. Good thing too, because weighing in at 99 pounds, she's fly away into the stratosphere and we'd never see her again.
It's definitely harder than it looks and Michelle is flapping out of control like a heron caught in a tornado. She's trying to keep her balance, but Jay thinks “she lacked a lot of grace.” As if anyone could do this gracefully.
Jaeda feels confident because she has “a Cover Girl face,” whatever that is. In this case, it's the super model version of Windtunnel Test by Eduarado Paolozzi. She tries with all her might to tighten up her cheeks to keep them shearing right off her face, yet still look sultry and hot. Jay thinks Jaeda is graceful, for once in her life.
Amanda says, “I'm kinda doing not so hot at first,” after we watch her nearly get choked to death by the trainer, who has her by the collar. She puts one hand down to her throat because she can't breathe, but Jay thinks she's inspired for giving a good pose.
Sutan takes one look at Anchal in her form-fitting flight suit and prompts the best exchange in the entire series to date.
Sutan: Suck it in.
Anchal: I am sucking it in.
Sutan: Well, suck it in harder.
In the wind tunnel, Anchal is in no danger of flying off into outer space because she's such a heifer. The trainer looks like he's actually trying to hold her up.
“Stop, don't look at me,” is all Anchal can think when she sees the other girls are watching her. Yeah, as a model, you don't want people looking at you. It's so distracting and makes you self-conscious. Good career plan, honey.
Eugena, like everyone, is told to move slowly if she wants to keep her balance, but she's blowing around like the leaves in my backyard last Saturday.
Jay tells Melrose, “Give us an amazing shot! Make the girls hate you even more!”
Melrose says delightedly, “Don't know if that's possible!” as she waves jauntily and jumps into the fan.
Confident and carefree as she is, Melrose doesn't do as well as Jay expected her to and Anchal could not be happier. CariDee loves the experience of feeling free and light. She gets so into it, she completely ignores the instructions to take care and ends up flailing around until she wears the instructor guy out.
Tyra Mail - Anchal reads, “Tomorrow, you will meet with the judges. Only 6 will continue on in their hopes of becoming America's Next Top Model.” It's the same message they get every week. They should start re-using the same card and just cross out the number and add a lower one each week. Save a tree.
Melrose is sitting on her bed wearing a raspberry beret, the kind u find in a second hand store, and a long fake black mustache. Why? Never mind. I just remembered I don't care.
She's nervous for once, because she didn't ace the skydiving thing. “I don't want to go [to panel.]”
Anchal is dying to have Melrose leave. “Melrose should go home. She's the most fricking annoying person I've ever met,” she complains. As if that's what it's all about. If being annoying was what it took to get the boot, your wide load would've been towed away three weeks ago.
“If there's a jacked-up picture that shows up on there… send me home,” says Eugena. Everyone is starting to feel like A.J. did – they're tired and just want to get it over with, like it's Death Row or something. Where's the fun? You were picked from obscurity over of thousands of others. You're on TV. You're getting a shot at your dream. There's no math involved. What is the problem?
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