America's Next Top Model : Cycle 7 Recaps:
Episode 10 “The Girl Who Grates" (page 3)
by D. Yueh
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The Dance-Off — It’s the big day. The girls are in a lovely Spanish garden complete with a perfectly manicured hedge maze and large stone patio. Tiny Dancer, via his translator sidekick, Ms. Berlitz, tells the girls to get their costumes and faces on — the dance-off is about to begin. May the best bitch win.
I’m no expert by any means, but their costumes don’t look very flamenco to me. Each dress has a really loud pattern, and everything is polka-dotted or something equally hideous. Amanda’s dress could easily send someone into a seizure, and Melrose looks like a drag queen’s version of I Love Lucy.
The girls pair up with their male partners and proceed to the courtyard that will serve as their dance floor. It looks like a prom from hell, but Tiny Dancer thinks they all look muy pretty.
CariDee and her partner, Jose, start it off. Not only does she have to remember the choreography, she has to follow Jose’s lead and look modely doing it. Why are dance shoes so fugly? A close-up on her feet shows big, black, ol’ lady orthopedics.
As they dance, a photographer snaps off frames. Tiny Dancer notices that CariDee “shows much attraction to her partner.” CariDee’s attracted to anything in pants.
Eugena and her partner, Oscar, do well, but only because Eugena’s got all that rhythm. Also, believe or not, she has a good strategy: Just follow your partner. I hate it when she’s right.
And then there’s Amanda. Eesh. First of all, Amanda’s feet are frigging huge. They’re like flippers — two left ones. No wonder she can’t dance. Later, Melrose ain’t so smug anymore when she blanks out and stands confused for a few crucial seconds. She tries to recover, but it’s too late — there was no mistaking it.
Tiny Dancer is kind. He gives each girl at least one bit of praise. But in the end, chooses Eugena as the winner. She gets to pick one girl to share three presents as her prize. CariDee’s new BFF picks Amanda. CariDee looks confused about why Eugena would pick Olive Oil over her, but she says nicely: “I would’ve picked Amanda too, if I would’ve won. Amanda hasn’t won yet, so I would like for her to feel special.”
Afterward, Amanda and Melrose talk about Melrose’s screw up. Amanda had the good sense to change out of her ghastly outfit, but Melrose is still wearing her I Love Lucy get-up. She says, “I’m pretty hard on myself, but for this, I deserve it.” Amanda was terrible too, but Melrose only cares about Melrose, so it’s a one-sided conversation. Then she flings herself into a crying jag.
“Dancing is my soul! It’s my passion,” she sobs. I thought fashion was your soul and passion? Maybe CariDee was right: You do have multiple personalities. Eugena thinks at least one of them is just a sore loser.
Gifts — Back at the apartment, the three presents await Eugena and Amanda. Eugena gets two, and Amanda gets the third one. “Is it a Custo?” says Melrose, grabbing the label of the jacket Eugena’s holding. Wow, maybe she does know fashion? Who the hell is Custo?
Amanda has a jacket, while Eugena received a jacket and a shirt. Looking at the jacket, CariDee squeals, “Oh my God! Look at the back of this! This must be the coolest jacket ever.” Calm down.
Melrose seethes quietly.
Tyra Mail — “Will you drown when faced with your own competition? Let’s see which girl will sink, when she sees you floating to the top.” Someone says, “Sharks?” That reminds me. I miss Brooke.
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