I can’t believe that Tyra made us wait two whole weeks for the latest episode of ANTM. And last week she had the nerve to ply us with some lame recap show. Stick to what you know, Tyra, and leave the lame recaps to me!

The only useful information I took from the recap was that the girls seem to be a lot nicer to one another in the less-edited version of the show. (Except for Jayla. Turns out she was just as bad as she seemed. Maybe worse.)

In the recap show, Coryn wrote Lisa a nice letter apologizing for calling her an, “alcoholic bitch” and the two literally kissed and made up! But the regular episode didn’t hint at this sort of resolution. The editors aSt ANTM are kind of like an ex-girlfriend: they have a vested interest in showing you in the worst light possible.

This week, the girls return home after Kyle’s elimination to find a letter from her to all of them. Kim says she is afraid to read it because she may cry. She puts on a brave face in front of everyone as she reads Kyle’s note aloud. But in the confessional, Kim sobs, “I miss Kyle so much. I know she’s going to be ok, but I don’t know if I’m going to be ok without her here. This house is so lonely for me without her.” The drama!

Bre is on the phone with her mom, who she is asking to pray for her. Being in the bottom two was a big wake up call for Bre. She promises, “Within the next five weeks I’m going to live like each one is my last here.”

Lisa announces that people are erasing pictures of her from the house digital camera. So now she is printing them out and pasting them to the photo wall. Only Lisa could take her literal erasure from the collective picture as a good sign. She confides, “I think slowly but surely I’m becoming more of a threat to the other girls. People are getting more and more insecure with themselves.” Either that or their frustration with her has reached epic proportions.

Tyra mail arrives, and poses the question, “Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a diva?” The girls realize that this is a sly reference to former Top Model winner, Eva “the Diva” Pigford. The girls are very excited to see her, and Bre is even going to dress up for her.

The next day, the girls go to the Poodle Parlor where Eva is doing a photo shoot. Kim watches Eva from the sidelines, arms flex-folded in her muscle t-shirt. Kim murmurs, “Oh my God, she’ so cute. You just wanna…kiss her.” Then Kim inhales lustily. Wow, Kim really does dig Eva. Maybe she’s heard those persistent rumors about Eva and her “lady friend.” (Hint: A crime that isn’t a felony is a misdemeanor. Discuss.) Nik is feeling the love too. She throws her arm around Kim and says conspiratorially, “Ditto. Deliver us from Eva.”