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Meanwhile,
Kim is holding court again and her minions
inquire about Sarah. She assures them that Sarah doesn’t
really mean anything to her,
she’s just having some fun. Cut to Sarah in hair rollers,
looking a little nervous and lost before the big shoot.
The minions want to know if Kim thinks Sarah has feelings
for her. Kim shrugs and laughs like the mere idea of
it is just lame.
I
half expect Kim to break into “Summer Lovin’” from Grease.
This is some serious Danny Zuko
talk (which also explains her constantly flipped up
collars). When Sarah wanders into their conversation,
Kim smirks and rolls her eyes. This behavior is just
a little too high school boy for my liking. I might
have to climb through the tv set and kick her cocky ass.
While
Cassandra considers her fate, the other girls are running
for their lives on the Treadmill of Terror. Nik,
Jayla and Bre pull it off, while
Coryn, Kyle and Diane are a bit expressionless. Nicole flits
about with her standard vacant look, and Sarah just
tries not to fall down. Kim, despite getting fitted
with a really cool leather outfit, uses the opportunity
to get her cardio workout and doesn’t do much else.
Meanwhile, Bre is using
Cassandra’s contemplation period to do some excellent
strategic manipulation. Cassandra isn’t sure what she
should do, and Bre encourages
her to go with her first instinct as it is usually a
sign from God. Bre even tells her that she would respect her for standing
up to Evil Jay. Cassandra takes the bait and tells Evil
Jay she isn't going to cut her hair. Evil Jay flames
her, "I really don't have time for this today,
so you've just got to leave my set,” and speed-dials
the Great and Powerful Tyra
with the news.
Fearing
for her life, Cassandra heads back to Chez Model and
packs her bags for the flight back to Houston. It’s obvious that she is so glad to be done with
this competition. "I'm going home. I'm going to
go back to Texas, and I'm going to get some hair extensions. Hopefully
you'll see me as a future Miss USA." No, hopefully I won’t see you again at all.
The
girls wonder if they will still face
another round of eliminations
now that Cassandra has taken herself out of the
competition. Yeah, right. As if the judges would miss
an opportunity to publicly humiliate the girls with
their critiques!
The
models once again face the panel of judges,
which this time includes guest judge Sue Wong. Tyra takes the opportunity to make a little speech about the
Cassandra situation. Yes, of course it’s more fun to
make an example of someone when they are standing right
in front of her, but she’ll take what she can get.
"Being
a model means being about to adapt to a whole variety
of situations. Cassandra was more interested in holding
on to one inch of her hair than learning and adapting."
Tyra throws down the gauntlet:
If there is anyone else who isn't willing to devote
their lives to this competition they should step forward
now. But no one takes the bait. (I thought maybe Bre
and Lisa would take a couple of steps back so that it
looked like everyone else was stepping forward, but
they didn’t.)
The girls are challenged to perform their signature
walks for the judges, and a look of shock and terror
crosses Kim’s face. It’s as if she’s thinking, “Damn!
I wish they would judge our signature pick up lines.
I could win this thing!” Her solution?
She makes a big disclaimer about how she knows her walk
sucks but that she thinks she can make it better with
a little more practice. Bad idea,
Kim. These people don’t like excuses or pleas
for mercy. And yes, her walk does suck.
When
the girls get a look at their pictures from the treadmill
shoot, they see that they were supposed to have been
running from Miss J.—clad as the Fashion Police Witch. Miss J is
selling it
in the photograph. I go back and forth between rooting
for Tyra and Miss J. I always
wish one of them would win this competition.
The lucky girls with the great shots are Jayla
(and the new hairdo is H.O.T.) Coryn and Nik. Bre
gets some props for her walk but they don’t buy her
acting in the picture. Diane and Nicole end up with
some boring photos, and Lisa’s is okay except for the
fact that she appears to have no neck in the shot. Kim’s
photo is good, but she admits that she is struggling
with how to portray her feminine side without compromising
her true nature. Tyra makes a fabulous suggestion. She tells Kim to study the
work of male models to see how they combine both masculine
and feminine energy. Did I really need one more reason
to love Tyra?
Poor
Sarah.
The
judges can tell she wasn’t feigning fright in her photo.
They also know that she was more afraid of falling down
than she was of Miss J in a scary dress.
One
by one, Tyra calls the names of the winners until only Kim and Sarah
are left standing. There is no chivalry here. Kim
doesn’t not step aside for Sarah, but I think
Sarah would do it for Kim (if she didn’t already know
in her gut that she was going home). When Sarah is eliminated,
the two embrace for a very long time and shed some tears.
As Kim joins the other winners, Sarah embraces Coryn
in what looks like a great big kiss!
Coryn’s
considerable hairdo blocks our view of their faces,
but even through all that fake hair I can see the unmistakable
truth: Sarah ain’t straight.
There
is something real queer about this girl, and I think
she knows it too. Even in defeat, Sarah continues to
be sweet and thoughtful, “I'm glad I came, and even
though I didn't win, I learned things about myself,
so it was worth it. Kim taught me a lot about myself,
and I learned that I'm stronger than I thought I was….
Back to Boonville, I guess, and we'll see from there."
Something tells me that Sarah and her boyfriend are
going to have a long talk.
The
tease for next week: the return of Janice Dickinson.
You know, I’m glad that sensitive Sarah was booted before
Janice could put her nasty silicone talons into her.
I don’t think she could have taken it, and I’m not sure
that I could have either. Although I would love to have
seen Cassandra square off against Janice. It’d be like
that movie Alien
vs. Predator, but on a runway.