Okay, we have to toughen up for the next two episodes. The likelihood of any OVERT lesbian content on ANTM went out the door with Kim last week, so get imaginative, and try to read the between the lines like you do with all the other shows on television.

Back at The Savoy, Nicole is distraught about Kim’s elimination. (Whose crummy little toady will Nicole be now?) She’s worried about having to share quarters with crazy Bre. 

Bre is, despite her reprieve, also falling apart. She cries, “I’m tired of being disrespected. Nobody sees me here as a good person. But I am. I know Nicole hates me. She disliked me before, but I know she hates me now.”  Yes, openly and unapologetically stealing from people does sometimes make them hate you.  Bre admits,  “I know I’m wrong for not apologizing but…I guess I just don’t care.”

Jayla tells us, “Bre and Nicole are really pissed off at each  other, and all over a freakin’ granola bar!” I completely agree.  And by the way, Jayla, I still think you were the one that took it.  Bre is having a full-scale pity party, wondering why she wasn’t eliminated. Jayla tells Bre, “Hey, I stopped trying to figure things out when Lisa was sent home.” Yeah, me too.  She adds, “I was in the bottom two, twice in a row, and I was like ‘What the hell?’”

The girls get Tyra Mail telling them to “dress the part.” (at least they know what this means—no “pecking order” confusion this week!)  They are all assigned “parts”--Bre is preppy, Jayla is punk, Nik is Mod, and Nicole is Bollywood.  Oh dear. There is no way Nicole is going to know what Bollywood means. 

Yup. She doesn’t know. In fact, none of the other girls know either.  And it gets worse. None of them seem to understand preppy, mod, or punk!   Jayla thinks that her inherent Jehova-punk attitude will carry her through, “I’m just going to throw some clothes on and, whatever, I’m good.” 

Nicole is full of clueless yet well-meaning advice, telling Nik, “Be sure to wear sunglasses. I’m pretty sure those are Mod.”

Why does it never occur to these girls to do some research?  It’s not like they’re on Survivor or something. They have phones and probably internet access.  I guess they figure that ignorance is bliss…or fierce.

The girls head out to Carnaby Street in their ill-conceived outfits, and are greeted by Simon, the creative director from Barneys’.  He asks them if they are familiar with Carnaby Street and the cricket sounds are cued to sync up with their blank faces. It’s only the epicenter of London fashion, girls! (Lisa would have known this.) 

Simon gives them a crash course in fashion terminology. First up, the Bollywood.  Simon says Bollywood is about  “excess color and sequins.”  He is understandably stumped when trying to figure out which of the girls is dressed in this style.  It’s Nicole. You know, the one in the black top and jeans.  He tosses the poor girl a Sari to cover her Bolly-lack, but she doesn’t know how to wear it. She drapes it over her shoulders like a kid running around the house wearing a blanket. 

(We have to cut her SOME slack, proper usage of a sari is probably not common knowledge in Grand Forks, North Dakota.  I’ll bet she can milk a cow though. Can you do that, Mr. Barneys’?) 

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