Later, they continued to ignore requests for interviews, but kept appearing in public. And since then, they've kept on appearing. And kept on ignoring. Appearing. Ignoring. Appearing. Ignoring. And all the while, they have continued to look cozy, in love, and best of all, oblivious to what all the fuss is about.

The truth is, the fuss over their relationship has never reached anything like the kind of fever pitch you'd get if you called a press conference or appeared on a chat show to formally warble to the whole world that you're a lesbian. And yet, everyone knows that they are together. How can that be?

"It sounds so trite, but my private life is mine," Portia told an Australian newspaper in May. "When you have the paparazzi hiding in the bushes outside your home, about the only thing you can control is how you respond publicly. When I hear celebrities talking about their marriages or other things that are intensely personal, I cringe. I just think, 'Keep it to yourself'. It's like desperate attention-seeking."

In terms of their relationship being a marketable commodity, right now it's almost as if they've got the media on a leash. Anne Heche's emotional acrobatics of several years ago, were easy to write about, and the media interest in Anne/Ellen shifted plenty of papers back in the day, despite many people not even knowing who Anne was until she dated Ellen DeGeneres.

But what about Portia? By comparison, her star was already burning more brightly at the time of her public relationship with a woman, with her role on Ally McBeal making her one of the Top 10 Earning Australian Entertainers of 2001, rating 7th, ahead of such names as Kylie Minogue, Cate Blanchett and even Nicole Kidman according to the Australian business magazine BRW Magazine.

Anyone currently looking to generate a quick buck from a headline about her cannot prefix Portia's name as "Lesbian Portia de Rossi!" because they don't even know if she is a lesbian. Because is she a lesbian? Is she bisexual? Or is she simply a woman who happens to be in love with another woman?

Instead, most media reports now refer to her as "Portia de Rossi, and her girlfriend" or "Portia de Rossi and her partner" or just plain "Portia de Rossi and Francesca Gregorini." All of which are longer, and none of which leap out of the morning paper and make people drop their toast in quite the same way that the word "lesbian!" does, especially coupled with words like "confession!"

The end result is that Portia and Francesca are keeping the details of their relationship private and dignified, but the existence of their relationship very much public--lulling the media into a new kind of submission and forcing them and everyone else to accept their personal lives with a new level of maturity.

Gossip columns have been plundering celebrity sexuality for years at the expense of the personal happiness of famous gay men, lesbians and bisexuals around the world. No doubt the papers will continue plugging away with new gossip about Portia and Francesca for a while yet, and there will be more paparazzi photos of the two women in the future.

But what is there to write about when a celebrity gives away the equivalent of their personal punch-line, without actually saying anything remotely quotable? By the time Portia and Francesca officially come out (if they ever do) who will care? We already know that they both like women. And we already know that they are in love. What more do we need?

I for one hope that they continue to be exactly who they are--a quiet inspiration to women everywhere, and a couple of modern chicks who are so comfortable with themselves and with each other that they are simply getting on with their lives, and are above the boring exposés and confessionals of old.

September 2005 Update: de Rossi has left Gregorini for Ellen DeGeneres, and is currently starring in the Fox sitcom Arrested Development, now in its third season.

Find more AfterEllen.com articles on Portia (and Ellen) here.

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