Is pop music’s current round of lesbian titillation a bold move forward or the same old song and dance?

The following conversation occurred after the recent spattering of sapphic portrayals in the diva world.

Co-worker: (waving a tabloid in my face and singing) Pink’s coming out so you better get the party started!
Me: More like party line
Co-worker: What line?
Me: Let me guess...somewhere beyond the overheated photos of Pink entwined with Kristanna Loken, there’s a line in there about a boyfriend or an ex-boyfriend or still being attracted to men?
Co-worker: Um, yeah
Me: Safety shield!
Co-worker: Maybe she’s bi?
Me: Maybe, but I think this has more to do with Pink’s new album Try This dropping on November 11th than it has to do with her sexual preferences
Co-worker: From these pictures, I’d say she’s trying a few things
Me: Yep, right in the firing line of the paparazzi...welcome to Publicity Stunts 101
Co-worker: You’re so jaded
Me: I prefer keen observer of the obvious

What’s obvious is that the record industry is in turmoil. With plummeting album sales, artists need to stand out more – especially female pop artists. And what better way to get tongues wagging than wagging tongues with an attractive member of the same sex?

And who better to show the way to today’s writhing pop stars than the Mother Superior of Marketing, the Supreme Queen of Controversy, Madonna.

Except, we’ve been heard this tune before.

In 1990, her Justify My Love video shocked everyone when she “kissed” an androgynous female. What has changed in a decade? Not much.

During this year’s MTV Video Music Awards, a tribute was paid to the Material Girl’s original jaw-dropping Like A Virgin exhibition many moons ago. This time, a handsomely attired Madonna popped out of a wedding cake and locked lips with her baby brides/heirs to her throne, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Again, people were shocked. But were they surprised? Not really.

Rather than kiss contemporaries like an Annie Lennox or a Janet Jackson, Madonna swapped spit with the two pop tarts most regarded inside and outside of the industry as hoopla hounds. As a result, the performance was reduced to a salacious soundbite and a late night punchline.

For many, lesbianism was dragged right along side in the mud.

Terms used the following morning by the general public included “crass,” “crude,” “tacky,” “cheap,” “sick,” and “sad.” With gays and lesbians struggling for respect and acceptance, these associated words are by no means doing us any favors.

If Madonna’s recent American Life CD had not bombed so badly, critics might have been more forgiving. Instead, her Britney/Christina three-way was chalked up to a vain and pathetic last grasp for the youth market made by an aging mother of two.

The fallout from the incident continues to spawn unintentional comedy.

Teen queens Jessica Simpson and Mandy Moore fumbled around for the proper PR-rehearsed, deliberately vague, non-inflammatory response to the ubiquitous question, “Would you kiss Madonna?” during TV interviews.

The less-than-flattering assessments given by older musical matriarchs, Stevie Nicks and Bette Midler, came off as crotchety and hypocritical given the entertainers’ own pasts and fan bases.

Beyonce Knowles invented the backstep booty bounce when she quickly denied potentially homophobic remarks attributed to her in the tabloid press.

Through all of this, Britney continues to run with the ball. First, a flirtatious skit with Halle Berry on Saturday Night Live and then back again with Madonna in her new video, Me Against the Music. Literally following in the footsteps of her mentor, Britney bumps and grinds with Mrs. Richie on a bedframe and a wall. Countless viewers wish they could trade places with said objects.

Surprise, her new album In The Zone comes out on November 18th.

La Spears desperately needs this to be a hit. Worldwide backlash from conservative parents not thrilled with her recent growing pains and unimpressed critics noting her lack of vocal range has made Britney an easy target. Unfortunately, dancing down the path of notoriety by using suggestive homoerotic imagery might boost a few sales but this will not help with long-term credibility.

Lesbianism used as a coy ploy to reinvent a waning public persona should be considered “so last decade.” Amazingly, it continues to thrive today as a hip marketing tool to generate buzz for any kind of product (just ask t.A.T.u.). It worked for straight guy porn, why not music videos, clothing ads, and laundry detergent?

The problem with this message is that it distorts a valid way of life into a shallow gimmick. Mainstreamers who are reluctant to tolerate homosexuality now have a simple out by diffusing lesbianism into three, easier-to-digest subcategories:

THE FAD – going gay is the new black, hang it back up in the closet when finished

THE PHASE – a woman will always settle down with a man once her party days are over

THE FUN TIME – just another sexual practice for straight gals to tempt their boyfriends or to satisfy a biological urge

Hooking-up with whomever, messing around with a girl friend, and being bi-curious are genuine approaches that work for some women. And this is reflected in the timely antics of Pink, Christina, etc. For others, it is a careless, destabilizing force in an already weak movement for legitimacy.

On a surface level, it can be argued that the present girl-on-girl pandering in the media is a positive one. Young lesbians, desperate for any kind of representation of their reality, cheer female musicians and actors as they toss scraps their way with a wink and a nudge. Regrettably, those scraps are more likely intended to shake the change from the pockets of all demographics rather than offer a tacit acknowledgement of homosexuality. We had scraps in the 80’s and 90’s. The year is 2003. In the age of DVD and DSL, it’s time for real substance from all levels of entertainment.

With groundbreakers Melissa Etheridge and kd lang ensconced in their 40’s and Linda Perry producing behind the scenes, it would be wonderfully refreshing to have a young pop singer come out today as a proud lesbian and not fear the consequences or use her status as a self-promoting vehicle.

Until that day happens, it’s the usual MTV routine of one tiny step forward and two well-choreographed steps back.