First, will you briefly describe the plot of A Family Affair?

A Family Affair tells the story of Rachel Rosen who flees NYC for California after another traumatic break-up with her capricious ex-girlfriend Reggie (Michele Greene). There she is greeted by her PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) Mom (Arlene Golonka) who is adamant to see her daughter settled down with Ms. Rightowitz. However, when Rachel finds Ms. Rightowitz (Erica Shaffer), she’s not so sure it’s not Ms. Wrongowitz she wants after all…

What inspired you to write it?

I was actually inspired by California’s “Proposition 22” the anti-gay marriage initiative sponsored by Pete Knight. When I learned that Mr. Knight had an estranged gay son, it so galled me that anyone would spend that kind of time and energy in hatred towards their own flesh and blood. I really feel these people are missing the point. No matter how a person’s children don’t meet his/her expectations, whether that be career choice, personality, or sexual orientation, they are still his/her children and nothing is more important than that fact. So I wanted to create a film with a gay marriage without apologies. I wanted everyone in the film to treat the event as perfectly normal which is how I think it should be.

I also was inspired by the lack of films with gay characters that aren’t about “coming out” or where “being gay” isn’t the focus of the film. I wanted to create a story where the characters happen to be gay. I think one of the main foundations of bigotry is when people imagine certain groups or ethnicities are so different from themselves. I hope once people see the cultural differences that divide us are so much less significant than what unites us, our humanity, perhaps there will be more tolerance and acceptance in this world.

You wore a lot of hats in making this film (writer, director, actor, producer); would you do so again? Which role do you enjoy most?

I probably would, but hopefully with a bigger budget! As for what role I enjoyed the most, that is hard to say. I can say that these various roles complemented each other. My experience as an actor very much informs my writing and allows me to find the voice of each character. As a director, I like working with actors very much and seeing my vision come to life was very exciting. I am pursuing more work as a writer/director, so I guess that’s the answer.

You have an interesting mix of actors in the film--known and unknown, gay and straight, etc.; how did you go about casting it?

There were some roles I wrote for actors I was familiar with here in San Diego. Many of the main roles, we cast from Los Angeles. We sent out a casting notice to managers and agents and they responded with hundreds of pictures and resumes. We are very happy with our cast. Michele Greene, who had the first lesbian kiss on American television on LA Law portrays my ex. Arlene Golonka, a veteran of Broadway and Television (She was Millie of Mayberry!) plays my mother. Barbara Stuart, (Miss Bunny from Gomer Pyle among seven television series) plays my current girlfriend’s mother. I love the idea of breaking stereotypes, so I loved the idea of comedienne Suzanne Westenhoefer plays my non-gay sister-in-law. We did an extensive search until we found Erica Shaffer to play my current love interest.

The straight characters in A Family Affair are all fairly gay-positive; what would you say to those who might criticize this as being unrealistic?

I would say they are seeing the glass as half-empty. Of course cases of homophobia and gay bashing grab the headlines, but there are many gay-positive non-gay people and you don’t have to go to a PFLAG meeting to find them. (And non-gay people need role models too!) Actually, 50 per cent of Americans are neither pro-gay or anti-gay. This is certainly a group of people I would like to reach with my movie.

What has been your experience showcasing the film at film festivals? Audience reaction?

It has been overwhelming. We’ve had wonderful responses from all kinds of audiences, gay and non-gay, Jewish and non-Jewish, in the US and abroad. We’ve won several awards including “Best Film” in Barcelona and Madrid, Spain, and stateside, we’ve won “Best Film” in Phoenix and “Audience Favorite” in Philadelphia.

I find all kinds of people can relate to film because it deals with universal issues, such as relationships, commitment, and family.

How did making the film impact your career (positively or negatively)?

It’s been all positive except that because really it has been only myself and the producer, Valerie B. Pichney, we’ve had to do everything ourselves. So it’s been a huge lesson for both of us!

What was it like trying to make and market a lesbian-themed film? Any challenges (or rewards) you weren’t expecting?

One thing that we didn’t expect was concerning distribution. Distributors will tell you that lesbians don’t go to movies, they wait for it to come out on video. So it does absolutely nothing for you to claim you have the “lesbian audience.” The bottom line for distributors is money and until they understand that lesbians are a part of the movie going public, it will continue to be very difficult for “lesbian themed” films to get distributed.

When do you expect the movie to be available on DVD or VHS?

We just premiered the film in theatres in San Francisco and Berkeley and it will be released city by city throughout the US. After the theatrical release, probably in August 2003, A Family Affair will be released on DVD and VHS by Wolfe Video.

What project are you currently working on?

Since signing the distribution agreement for A Family Affair, we’ve been quite busy with making preparations for the release of the film. I’ve been working on a new screenplay, but that’s been put on the backburner.

Do you think the industry has become more accepting of movies with lesbian themes over the last several years?

Well, certainly there have been more films with lesbian characters, but still even today, there is a tendency to knock at least one of the lesbians off by the end of film. One festival director said to me that of the six or seven “lesbian-themed” films in their festival, ours was the only one that someone didn’t die at the end.

From your perspective, how have indie films have contributed to lesbian and bisexual visibility in entertainment? Is their role changing as more studio films include lesbian characters?

Indie films have traditionally allowed smaller stories to be told and that includes movies with lesbians and bisexuals. (I mean by “smaller” films that don’t include underwater chase scenes or helicopter rescues.) The biggest change I think is actually the digital revolution that allows a lot more people to get their films done. The real issue is still distribution. You still have to get someone to put the money in to get your film in the theatres and pay for advertising. My Big Fat Greek Wedding wouldn’t have become the sensation it has without the millions of dollars that was put into advertising.

What trends are you seeing in both indie films and big-budget Hollywood films regarding lesbian and bisexual representation?

Actually it’s a larger issue. What I unfortunately see as a growing trend is the elimination of women from the casts of most movies. Since men dominant the industry, the journeys of men are the films being made. Women audiences are expected to be able to find themselves in these films. The reverse is not true. The journeys of women are dismissed as with the derogatory phrase “chick flicks”. If you look at the casts of most films they are almost completely male dominated with maybe one role for the girlfriend of the hero. We received hundred of resumes for our film of well-known actresses simply because there are no interesting parts being written for women, especially for older women. (Of course, in Hollywood, over 30 is considered “older”.)

What is your background (age, where you grew up, where you live now, ethnicity, education etc.)?

I was born in Palo Alto, California and grew up in Bridgewater NJ. I graduated from the University of Pennsylvania. While in Rabbinical School, I received a Bachelor of Hebrew Literature from the University of Judaism. I currently live outside San Diego.

What inspired you to make movies? Which actors/writers/directors do you admire most?

I most admire Woody Allen even if it isn’t particularly “PC” right now. I love his sense of humor and his emphasis on character driven stories. I also especially like his use of surrealism in his films. I think sometimes surrealism better portrays reality than realism.

I also greatly admire the films of John Sayles. I think his films are, like Woody Allen, character driven. He has great compassion for his characters and he tells stories with humor and humanity.

How does your experience as a rabbinical student influence your filmmaking?

I wouldn’t say it was my experiences as a rabbinical student that influenced my filmmaking, rather it was the same underlining religious beliefs that led me to rabbinical school that influenced my filmmaking. My belief in the equality of all people regardless of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation is a founding theme of much of my work and certainly an essential principal of Judaism. As Rabbi Hillel, the founder of Jewish law who lived 50 BCE, said, the crucial principal of the Jewish law is “Love thy neighbor as thyself, all the rest is commentary.”

What has been your biggest challenge (personally or professionally)?

The biggest challenge has been having no connections! As an outsider, it’s been very difficult. Valerie’s experience in business was invaluable in this respect although she is as “unconnected” as I am. As in all businesses, but I think in the entertainment business especially, nepotism is pervasive.

What are the biggest lessons you’ve learned from working in Hollywood? Any advice for aspiring (lesbian) directors or writers?

You must be persistent. Everyone told us from the very beginning we wouldn’t succeed. We didn’t have “connections” and every step of the way we had only ourselves to rely on. No one in the industry believed we would get the film done, that it would get into festivals (we’ve been in 50), that we’d win any awards, and especially, that we’d get a distribution agreement. But we never gave up because we believed in our film. You must have the ability to hear “No” a hundred times and keep on going till you get the “Yes”.