When actress Camryn Manheim introduced her long-time friend Ann Cusack as "my girlfriend" at an April 14th charity event in Beverly Hills, CA, she apparently had no idea the firestorm of speculation that would erupt from her use of that adjective--but she probably should have.

Although many straight women use the term "girlfriend" loosely to refer to female friends, it means something different for lesbians (or suspected lesbians); it wasn't just the word "girlfriend" that fueled speculation that Manheim and Cusack were lovers, however, it was also the fact that the women were holding hands when Manheim said it.

As an out feminist, Manheim is a rarity in Hollywood. She speaks out against American's obsession with thin women, as well as sexism, homophobia, the anti-abortion movement, and religious extremism, and is an activist on a variety of issues, including gay rights and women's rights.

She is currently gracing the cover of the Spring 2003 edition of Ms. Magazine (along with Whoopi Goldberg, Margaret Cho, and Ashley Judd) wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "This is what a feminist looks like."

Most actors are rebels of some sort, of course, and they are a notoriously liberal lot, but few actresses have the luxury of wearing their feminism on their sleeve if they want to continue working--especially if they're not married (to a man). When she chose to have a child on her own in 2001, Manheim incurred the wrath of male reporters around the country, who blasted her for echoing in real life the view espoused by her character on The Practice: "I don't believe I need a man in my life to raise a happy, healthy [child]."

Although there are valid reasons for asserting that two parents can be better than one, many reporters revealed the real basis of their arguments--sexism--through snarky comments like this one in a Tucson Weekly article:

"Camryn Manheim considers herself a trailblazer. But if she had intentionally gotten herself pregnant five years ago, before she was a star, she'd have been just another pathetic loser who could only keep a man interested in five- and 10-minute spurts (if you'll pardon the expression)."

Manheim, as an unmarried straight woman who refuses to downsize her weight or her opinions, is consequently a prime target for the "lesbian" label. If another type of woman had made the same comment as Manheim--a woman who wasn't such an outspoken feminist, or was markedly heterosexual (or was thin)--you would likely see a very different result.

If Pamela Anderson, for example, had walked that red carpet holding hands with a long-time female friend and introduced her as "my girlfriend," no one in the press would speculate that Anderson was about to come out. Ditto Ashley Judd, who is a feminist but is also married and thus clearly "needs" a man; in a similar situation, there would be no media articles asking if she were a lesbian.

There might be a few suggestive comments, or a National Enquirer article speculating on Anderson or Judd's sexuality in that situation, but mainstream media outlets would never run with the news the way they did when it was Manheim.

I'm not suggesting there was any kind of orchestrated attempt to discredit Manheim by calling her a lesbian, but rather that in their rush to prove that only a lesbian would behave the way Manheim does--to crow triumphantly "See! We knew she was a lesbian!--many reporters read into her behavior what they wanted to see, in a way they never would have if the statement were made by someone else.

But rather than revealing Manheim's sexual orientation, articles like the Chicago Sun-Times's "Has 'The Practice' star come out of the closet?" really just represent a manifestation of the patriarchal fear of a woman who doesn't "need" a man.

This whole thing is especially silly given that if Manheim were to come out, she is not the kind of woman likely to do so by dropping coy hints that require interpretation; Manheim has consistently proven herself to be nothing if not direct on many subjects including sexual orientation, as she illustrated in her 1999 memoir "Wake Up, I'm Fat!":

"Amid all those wonderful dykes, I had had a revelation. I was not a lesbian. I wanted to be a lesbian. I tried to be a lesbian, and God knows I would have been a great fucking lesbian. I mean, after all, I lived in Santa Cruz, I had a motorcycle, I was an activist, a liberal, an artist, a feminist, I love women, they love me, fat and all, and my sister always said I would be one. I even gave it the good old college try. Not once, but twice. It would have been so easy if I could have been a lesbian. But no, I had to settle for heterosexuality, which, as some of you know, is no day at the beach."

Manheim tried to ignore the rumors about her and Cusack at first, but when they persisted she finally issued a statement which, characteristically, refuted the media's interpretation of her comment without reinforcing the homophobic notion that it is a terrible thing to be "accused" of being gay:

"The only problem with Annie and I being lovers--because, trust me, that would be fabulous, is that I am not gay and neither is she. I may have said, 'This is my girlfriend,' but can we not say we have been girlfriends now? She's been my best friend for years."

Was Manheim naive to think her "girlfriend" comment wouldn't be misinterpreted? Absolutely. But it's just this kind of insistence on ignoring the rules of convention that has gotten Manheim to where she is today--and one of the reasons she continues to be a great advocate for women of all sexual orientations.