Lapiduss says of the show, “It's a shame. If it can't be fun making a sitcom and trying to make people laugh, then what are you doing? So that's unfortunate and it was my biggest disappointment. We didn't have any say in how the reality show would get put together. That was a whole different team of people. But the luck of it is that I didn't have to eat any bugs or jump out of a building to appear on that reality show. No executive producers were harmed in the making of that show.”

She adds, “Reality shows have gotten so extremely different, even since Situation: Comedy. Now, the only way you get on TV is if you are willing to publicly gain 100 pounds or eat a bucket of hog balls on Celebrity Fear Factor. Or julienne carrots. If you're a chef now, that's huge. If you're a chef you can get a series on. But if you're a really good writer or actor and you've honed your craft, you can't get on TV!”

That sad fact inspired her new stage show, Mackie's Com-Varie-Ality Show! “In order to be a star now you have to cut someone's hair or be a dog whisperer or be a mechanic or a dry-waller. I fled those professions to make it in Hollywood! That's what I didn't want to do. It's showing this slice of mundane life, people blow-drying a haircut for half an hour, that doesn't interest me. How many This Old House's can we see?”

She adds, “I think reality TV has it's place, but it doesn't have to be 24 hours a day on every channel. TV is supposed to be this medium that entertains and educates. There's so much to learn in the world. I think that's why Broadway is thriving right now, because there are stories and music. And when you watch American Idol, you see that people are hungry to be entertained. They want to hear the music and sing along." Lapiduss adds with a laugh, "Ice dancing! Anything, we're grabbing at friggin' straws here. Give me some ice skaters, I don't care, I'll take it! Rollerball, I'll take it! Anything! Yo-yo tournaments, please! Anything with people with some talent!”

Lapiduss is adding some much needed entertainment to the mix with her own production, Mackie's Com-Varie-Ality Show! “My hope is that it's time for variety shows to come back. That's what this show is. I'm putting it up now in this little space in Hollywood to see if it has legs for a TV show.”

Based on the performance I saw Friday night, the show has legs in spades. Mackie's Com-Varie-Ality Show! is carried by the star's exuberant presence and the deftness with which she swings between zingy repartee and musical numbers. Her talents as both a storyteller and comic are showcased in monologues about everything from Lawrence Welk's geriatric pass at her mother to the dubious nature of Los Angeles “news” programs.

Lapiduss has chosen some exceptional talents to join the production, including Susan Mosher (a master of unhinged wit who nearly stole the show) and Elissa Negrin, whose uncanny Cher impersonation ended with the recognition of “some faces from Chastity's sleepovers” in the largely queer audience. Michael Orland (Pianist, Arranger and Associate Musical Director for American Idol) serves as musical director, with orchestrations by Steve Orich (who was recently nominated for a Tony Award for Jersey Boys).

Lapiduss cold-called Mark Waldrop (who wrote the award-winning, all-gay musical review Howard Crabtree's When Pigs Fly) and asked him to collaborate with her on a cheeky love song to Condoleezza Rice. Their resulting innuendo-filled ditty was a crowd-pleaser:

Condi,
I feel a bond ta ya
Condi
I'm really drawn to ya,
Sister you're too twisted to be straight!
With those oli connections, you'd be like
A whole new kind of diesel dyke
You've got me hot
Let's not negotiate!
Condi,
It's fate

As you might deduce from its pedigree, Mackie's Com-Varie-Ality Show! is a first-rate production. The four-night Los Angeles engagement ends this weekend, and Lapiduss hopes that “Logo or Bravo or a channel that is gay-friendly and intellectually-friendly will give us a leg up and put something like this on, something that's really provocative, fun, and daring.” She adds, “Hopefully people will want to see something that's entertaining.”

Mackie's Com-Varie-Ality Show! runs Saturday and Sunday, July 22 and 23 at M Bar in Hollywood. For more info, go to maxinelapiduss.com.

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