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AE: You have this line in WYIN about Funny Girl being the best Barbra Streisand ever was…
SB: …Yes.

AE: You say, “Come back to the five and dime, Barbra Streisand, Barbra Streisand,” and it’s so funny because that’s 15 years ago and she probably seemed more real then, now when you see her you think, “What planet is she on?”
SB: I know, it’s really, really out there right.

AE: Yes. And obviously Tom Cruise has been big in the news.
SB: Ah huh. Yeah.

AE: For that same reason--they get so famous and they’re so cloistered and so out of touch--I mean they’re great for people like you to talk about them.
SB: Exactly right.

AE: You have any comments on Tom at all?
SB: I really don’t. It’s just so completely out there. I mean I’ve kind of talked about him over the years, but once again, it’s like, how much is left to say about it.

AE: I just remember Barbra Streisand on Oprah talking about she had planted some flowers and they were the wrong shade of yellow or something and then one day she turned around and they were the exact shade and God had shined down on them. I’m spiritual but still to a certain degree, she sounds insane.
SB: Yeah, it’s hysterical.

AE: Did you see the interview?
SB: No, I didn’t.

AE: She was on Oprah like a year ago, it was hysterical--they’re so out of touch you can’t even believe it.
SB: Honey, how about out of touch, Miss Winfrey is so super out of touch. So phoney and so full of shit. She to me is like the biggest phenomena of bullshit, just the way she had Tom Cruise on there and like kinda like (going) on and on and on until she even couldn’t really totally believe what she was seeing.

AE: I still love Oprah to a certain point, but that whole Hermes, just because your famous and you’re a multimillionaire, you know if a store turns you away for whatever reason…
SB: …What did she say, she came when the store was closed.

AE: I know but she’s Oprah so they should open it.
SB: That’s (France) baby, they don’t know who you are (laughs).

AE: Actually I wonder if she was wearing any makeup or anything…
SB: …No…

AE: ....because if you see Oprah without makeup, she does not look like Oprah.
SB: No. First of all she wasn’t wearing any makeup and second of all it’s like that’s France, she’s not really on the tip.

AE: Not only you need the makeup, you need the key light and…
SB: …oh honey and all that. They don’t have her show there.

AE: (laughs) She needs that guy that does her makeup traveling with her.
SB: Honey, you can only imagine.

AE: Why do you think that there are lots of guys doing cultural comedic criticism--there’s Jon Stewart and Bill Maher and Dennis Miller, but I can’t think of many women who do what you do, in terms of what’s happening in the country. Do you think that only guys can get away with stuff?
SB: Yeah, definitely.

AE: It’s frowned upon for women so they don’t tend to go into that.
SB: I think it’s definitely a more male oriented field--social commentary, political commentary--I think it’s just easier for men to get up and say whatever they want. But I don’t think there’s that many women who really want to put their toe in the water either. It’s not the easiest life or lifestyle to get out there and kind of shake the shit up.

AE: Have you ever gotten any degree of hate mail or anything like that?
SB: No, not really. I’m sure if I jumped into the whole political arena and got on all those the CNN’s and all that stuff--which they asked me to do right after the first Bush election--and I was like, “I don’t want to get into this shit. I don’t want to go all mano a mano with blondie,” whatever the hell her name is, the right wing chick.

AE: Oh Ann…
SB: …Ann Coulter. They wanted me on the deep front, right, left, center…

AE: …Right (laughs)
SB: I was not prepared enough. I mean she may make shit up, but she knows the shit she makes up. I didn’t want any part of it.

AE: You’re like, “I’ll just take my opinions over to The View once in awhile (laughs).
SB: Yeah, and there, anything you say is shocking. Those chicks, like Star Jones and her phoney ass, honey two shames on the black children--Oprah and Star.

AE: (laughs) Actually, you know what, you shouldn’t even say that because Star would be happy to even be uttered in the same breath as Oprah.
SB: You’re right.

AE: That’s a compliment to Star.
SB: Yeah, let’s not even go there. Let’s not let it be.

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