Catherine
Gray's new documentary I Can't Marry You
is currently touring the country to "show the personal,
legal and financial implications of denying a segment
of our society....the same rights straight couples often
take for granted."
With
profiles of and interviews with several gay and lesbian
couples--almost all of whom have been together for more
than 10 years--as well as comments from Lambda Legal representatives,
ministers, and other experts, this Betty-Degeneres' narrated
documentary seeks to put a face on an issue which has
for so long been largely faceless. And although the documentary
was finished well before the events which have suddenly
catapulted gay marriage to the news, its timing couldn't
be better.
Sort
of a "Gay Marriage 101," the documentary
is clearly intended for a heterosexual audience,
or a gay audience that needs to be inspired to
fight for gay marriage. Up until February, one of the
biggest hurdles we faced in gaining recognition of gay
marriage was that media
coverage of it was mostly theoretical, without a human
face. This
film was likely designed in part to remedy that, to get
people to start thinking beyond statistics to how this
law effects real people. |
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Although
the recent rush of gay marriages in San Francisco and elsewhere
in the last two months has done much to start humanizing the
issue, I Can't Marry You allows for a much more in-depth
exploration of the topic than any 1,000 word newspaper or magazine
article possibly can.
In
the hour-long documentary, we meet several gay and
lesbian couples including Karen and Francine and
their seventeen-year-old son; Sara and Sue, who are currently
suing New Jersey for the right to marry; Renne and Gabriella
(the latter of whom incidentally starred in the indie lesbian
romance Everything Relative);
Stacy and KC, and Kate and Lisa. The ages of the women interviewed
vary from thirty to sixty years old, and they are similarly
diverse in their appearance (some butch women, some femme, most
in-between); they are, however, mostly white.
The
couples talk about adoption and immigration issues, social security
and benefits, and all the little but important rights that straight
couples do take for granted, but that these couples
are denied. A few parents and siblings are also interviewed,
all in support of the right for their gay family member to get
married. There is one short comment by an anti-gay Christian,
but that is the extent to which the anti-gay position is given
voice here (a welcome change from the mainstream media's current
attempt to appear "balanced" by constantly allowing
right-wing nuts equal and mostly unchallenged commentary on
this issue).
But
while this documentary is likely to be effective at
educating clueless straight people, it will probably strike
most gay and lesbian viewers as, well, a little boring. After
the initial thrill at being introduced to so many gay couples
in long-term relationships, the documentary starts to drag on
because the information these couples are conveying seems so
basic that you're likely to fast-forward through much of it,
or at least want to.
But
as basic as this information seems, there has never actually
been a documentary or film of any kind about gay marriage.
It is bit disquieting to realize that a documentary that seems
so mundane to those of us immersed in gay culture is actually
a pioneering effort; clearly this information isn't that routine
given the current opposition to gay marriage in America.
Would
I watch this at home with my girlfriend or my gay friends?
Probably not. But would I show it to my parents, or my sister,
or my straight friends? Absolutely. And that makes I Can't
Marry You an extremely helpful (and long-overdue) tool
for all of us who care about equal marriage rights.
Note:
go to the official
site to see tour dates and to purchase the documentary on
DVD or VHS.
