Even when they kiss, something looks not quite right. The only music to mark their first time together in bed is the jangling sea shell wind chimes that hang above Marie’s bed. But maybe this is just as well. The rest of the soundtrack consists of monotonous riffs banged out on a synthesizer that aren’t even appropriate to the scene at hand. Particularly exciting moments are accompanied by sounds befitting a Martian landing, overlaid with the trickling of a leaky faucet—an odd choice to indicate fervor.

It is David and Jeanne who share the most passionate scene in the film, although their individual motivations are less than amorous. Jeanne is motivated by a strong determination to make things work with her husband and the fear that she might be gay. David is trying to make a point. Once things really heat up between them he tells her not to go anywhere and leaves the room. He reappears wearing one of her lacy black full slips, taunting her with “Is this what you like?” His fuming wakes their son, who runs in only to find his dad screaming at his mom while wearing her lingerie.

The trappings of femininity stand in for Jeanne’s attempt to be something other people want her to be. When she is leaving David, she makes a show of removing her eye makeup and nail polish, even though she doesn’t manage to do so fully. At an earlier point in the film she marvels at Marie for never wearing makeup and convinces her to try wearing it when they go out to a club. She both admired Marie’s scorn for convention and wants to play with such free-spiritedness in Marie’s life as well as her own.

Jeanne even seems to be trying on lesbianism as a child tries on her mother’s makeup, but Marie has a deeper appreciation for all that entails. A couple of annoying men remark that Jeanne and Marie are “weird” after watching them having a good time at a club but ignoring their advances. Playfully trying to get them to shut up, Marie tells them that they’re lesbians (this before the two women have so much as kissed). Jeanne laughs and plays along, but it becomes clear that Marie is serious. Once the men demand that the women kiss as proof, Marie has had enough. She’s the only one at the table not enjoying the joke. She is on to them and doesn’t appreciate anyone trying to make a spectacle of her life and its challenges.

For all its faults, Amour is a positive portrayal in that it avoids making a spectacle of queer love. It treats Jeanne and Marie’s relationship respectfully and underscores the challenges both women face because of it. And if you can get past the flawed execution, the film’s noble intentions can at least be appreciated.

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