“America’s Next Top Model” Recap (18.9): A Caterpillar of Her Community

 
 

Second impression! How are their new auras?
Alisha picked grey, because Master Chan said it was one of her special colors. Get used to this solid line of reasoning. Laura picked simple and looks pretty great in a black scarf. Chan already senses changes in her energy! Sophie went bohemian and red for added fire and passion. Catherine went green, including, oh, dear, greenish lipstick. (Why was that an available choice?) Alisha went black and green for water and wood, and Eboni went with fire red and purple. They all did great!

Laura wins it! She’s going to get a professional spa treatment! And then, because she is her only remaining teammate, they make Laura take Eboni with her. Awesome. Laura good-naturedly hugs Eboni and Alisha crankily points out that Laura hates Eboni’s guts. I’m assuming that Laura is just trying to make the best of it because, seriously: Luxury spa treatment in Macau.

The spa looks amazing. Laura says they’re not going to be friends, but she might as well be cordial. Eboni confirms that hitting the spa with Laura is uncomfortable, but it’s not like they have to massage each other. They get massages separated by a little barrier. It must be super relaxing to have that camera crew there!

Laura and Eboni lounge next to each other in what is supposed to be a post-massage time of tea-drinking bliss. Laura is still going for cordial, but Eboni is hilariously uncomfortable and is pretending to read the boxes of things. “Would you like any more tea?” “Uh, sure.”

Tyra Mail!
“Prepare to meet some smooth operators.” Tyra Mail writers, you have WEEKS AND WEEKS to think of things. I’m just saying.

Jay is back! Time for a shoot in silk gowns! With live silkworms! The models are briefly grossed out, but it becomes apparent to everyone pretty quickly that the worms are really caterpillars and nobody’s going to melt down over them. Aw, nuts. Alisha wisely tries to get used to one of her silkworms. She names it Edwin. Sophie tells Edwin to smize. Hee.

(Did you know that silkmoths don’t appear in the wild? They have been bred so specifically and for so long that they are completely dependent on humans for reproduction. That just suddenly seemed relevant to this show. I can’t think why.)

Jay says fashion is about pushing the limits and creating daring imagery. He wants to see some real emotion. I’m sure he has thoroughly vetted this plan with the judging panel. Paul Tsang is their photographer! Barney Cheng is their designer! The couture silk dresses are pretty amazing.

Annaliese works to prove she’s not just smiley and commercial. She does not care for the spidery feel of the silkworms (What?) and freaks out just a bit as one is placed near her cleavage, but pulls it together. Good woman. Jay says her emotion is too pantomime and not genuine, but she takes direction well.

Laura loves bugs and she digs her silkworms. She also looks pretty great in her Louise Brooks wig. Jay asks Laura what makes her feel powerful and she says “Really good sex.” Jay rolls with it (duh) and tells Laura to go for her best orgasm. Laura does some sultry sighing and trembling. Alisha thinks Laura is too sexual and accuses her of being turned on by silkworms. Did she miss the conversation with Jay or what? Laura goes awkward and bizarre (in a good way) and puts a silkworm right up by her mouth. Jays says she’s genius.

Eboni is in baby pink and trying to be a good sport about the terrible 30-Never thing. At least she’s being smart about it. Jay calls her middle-of-the road. Sophie says the silkworms are cool, and posh as creatures go. Her eyes look great. Laura names Sophie as her biggest competition. It’s on!

Catherine says she looks witchy in her dark hair. Jay gets her into deep sadness and she goes too deep, thinking about someone dying, and just starts crying. That’s a big emotional risk, but Catherine gets exactly zero credit for being willing to go there. Jay says she’s too emotional and also stiff. Alisha notes that Catherine crumbling can only benefit her as a rival model.

Alisha wants another best picture. Jay doesn’t know what she’s doing and wants more raw emotion. He says she’s too pose-y and makes fun of Alisha when she says she’s in the zone. Wow, he really does drive me up the walls during these shoots. I know it’s a moot point since everyone is fired, but wouldn’t a good creative director be skilled at getting the best possible performances out of models? No? Just pissing and moaning when things aren’t magically perfect? Fine. Annaliese says it’s not coming together and Alisha may be going home

Modelland East!
The Tyra Mail of Doom arrives, and holy trade agreements, Laura is wearing the shortest plaid shorts ever created. Maybe the silkworms are still working on them? The ladies lounge around in bathrobes being nervous. Catherine hopes she’s not going home, but says at least she tried. Eboni chats with Laura, who is still hoping really hard that Eboni will go home.

Alisha lies on the couch patting her head and saying that she’s not weak and wonders why she’s questioning herself. She thinks she was tested in this shoot.

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