“America’s Next Top Model” Recap (18.5): Things Get Sticky

 
 

A hotel! 

It’s a penthouse with three floors and the models love it. Remember the old days when Tyra wanted them to experience what a model house was like, so she kept cramming them into the smallest spaces possible? What? No, me neither. 

Catherine is super nice to AzMarie and generously said that she did a great job and stood out from all the other models because she’s amazing. AzMarie gives her a sincere thank you, and it’s nice to see two of the models just being normal. 

AzMarie interviews that she’s confident because she came out to her parents at 14 and had to work through a few problems. She mentions that she was her mom’s only daughter and her mom was a little sad not to get to do girly stuff with her. AzMarie thinks that modeling allows her mother to see her little girl. That might be the most introspective thing ever said on the show. Quick, how can we cure it?! 

Trya Mail! 

Tyra is peering out from behind a Sith hood.

Sticky & sweet and oh so delicious! 

Fierce and Love, 

Tyra

 

Ali Mail! 

Dear ANTM producers, 

Would it kill you to adopt a style guide and hire a proofreader? 

Just asking. 

Geek and love, 

Ali 

Still in the hotel!

Sophie really wants to win. Ashley is sad that she didn’t book anything and adorables that she’s really trying. Sophie confirms that Ashley was really trying. Ashley says she’s learning a lot and she’s doing this for her wee Scottish babies back home and wants to make her kids proud. 

(Commercials. How much would you have to be paid to see Think Like a Man? More than a million? Or would it just depend on which of your loved ones the producers were holding at gunpoint?) 

A cold, rainy street!

Oh, man, do the models look shivery and miserable. Jays says the challenge ended up in a tie between Eboni and Sophie. They both win Jay’s clothes and a trip to – wait for it – the rodeo. Someone tell Sophie what that is. 

Jay says they’re in the distillery district, but not why that is relevant. What, no architecture facts? 

Alisha doesn’t want to go home. She also says that they’re all busting their bollocks, and AzMarie is getting everything. (And if you want to see models busting their bullocks, you’ll just have to wait for the rodeo.) 

And now it is time for what just may be… 

The most magically stupid photo shoot in Top Model history.

The ladies wear leaf bikinis and pose fiercely while stagehands pour maple syrup all over them. I love this show so much, even though it hurts when I have to explain why. Nights like this make it worth it. 

Miguel Jacob is the photographer, and let me go ahead and give him credit for somehow making every model’s eyes look fantastic during this shoot. Because the rest of them – and I cannot emphasize this enough – is covered in maple syrup. 

Sophie goes first and Jay says, “This is really going to be about shapes.” Thanks, Jay. 

Laura watches Sophie carefully because she thinks she, AzMarie, and Kyle are her top competition. Laura is always thinking. Nobody rat her out to Tyra on that, OK? 

Alisha says syrup is going in her bum. Catherine tells Jay she’s still confident, but tells us, because she loves and trusts us more, that she knows she’s going home if she gets a bad photo because she didn’t book. 

Oh, no, Laura is crying. The fact that her friend died shortly before the competition is hitting her in waves, and one of those is hitting now. A camera is classily directed to zoom in as she’s crying. Annaliese is sweet to her and tells her to watch the freshly applied mascara. 

Laura has moxie, though: She takes a jolt of syrup in the eye and models right though it. 

Annaliese is growly and loves it. Ashley looks charming and also takes a wee dram of syrup in the eye. Jay asks her if she misses her babies, which pretty much means Ashley is up for elimination. Ashley says her mom told the kids, “The longer I’m way, the more I’m winning.” Crap. 

Kyle is all whatevs about leaving your kids 5,000 miles away. I thought syrup in the eye was bad, but Kyle has syrup in the nostril. I hope they airbrush that. 

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