“America’s Next Top Model” Recap (18.3): WaterLou

 
 

One thing legendary PR Maven Kelly Cutrone does is hate Annaliese. A lot. Jeez. Is there backstory to this, or is legendary PR Maven Kelly Cutrone just a tad mercurial?

As the models scatter, we are treated to a series of short cuts of legendary PR Maven Kelly Cutrone walking around the warehouse in a black trench coat and tough-scowling like she’s trying out for Reservoir Dogs.

Hey, for a change, could we get more shots of Kelly looking like she hates everything? Yes! What legendary public relations instincts!

We also get this priceless exchange:

Legendary PR Maven Kelly Cutrone: “How many props did you tell them to get?”

Anneliese: “At the moment, we’ve said that we want it simple. So I really only want one prop in each shot.”

Legendary PR Maven Kelly Cutrone: “I’m not doing math. How many is that?”

Anneliese: “Six.”

Wait, that’s a clue! We’re narrowing down what a legendary (fashion and) PR maven does by eliminating what she does not do. It’s like chipping away at everything that’s not a sculpture until you have a masterpiece.

So what does a legendary PR maven do? Not math. Someone start a tally board, will you?

Louise correctly notes that legendary PR Maven Kelly Cutrone seems to be kind of awful and rude. Remember how we talked last week about how Louise has the kind of smarts that may not serve her well here? Yeah.

The models say they were given $1,000 and were sent to Universal Studios to pick out props. Because you can just do that. Got a grand? Universal Studios and its props department welcomes you! Just show up at the gates!

We hear a model wondering if a throne is heavy.

Team USA went with “punk love” as its theme, which, fine. AzMarie seems to be on props.

Some of the Brits are getting crowns and chairs, but others are getting flowers. Alisha and Catherine are sending pictures to Annaliese on their product-placed phones, but get no responses. Oh, dear. 

Model casting!

Candace and Seymone from Team Yank and Sophie and Ashley (Yay!) from Team UK go to pick male models, and Candace, in her one awesome moment of the entire show, demands that the guys line up, smile, remove their shirts, and smile again.

The Brits, who have been to actual castings, are horrified, but it’s actually kind of great.

Back at the warehouse, legendary PR Maven Kelly Cutrone lectures AzMarie on luxury, saying it’s not something you can buy.

Legendary PR Mavens do not own dictionaries. 

Shoot day!

Oh, Lord, Jay Manuel is here. He tells the models they’re totally in charge. So, wait, why is he there?

AzMarie says their concept is punk and royal, which is… tricky…but everyone says she’s a good leader, which she seems to be. She also wisely reminds everyone on her team that they just got assigned their ridiculous superpowers, and Tyra is going to want to see them in this shoot. Someone’s been researching past seasons. Well played, AzMarie!

Holy cats, each team has just two hours to get their entire shoot done.

Legendary PR Maven Kelly Cutrone gives useless makeup advice: “Sometimes you can have a strong eye and a strong lip.”

Worst. Superhero. Ever.

American Shoot!
Candace poses with a guy who is wearing no shirt and a mountain lion over his shoulder. Is it meant to be Punk? Luxury? Love? Whatever. It’s fine. The girls bag on Candace because she only ever makes Sternface, and Jay directs her. Will someone on this show please define “in charge?”

Jay tells Candace not to be such a lump. Also the Americans are hampered by the fact that none of them seems to know what punk rock is.

Alisha says that punk rock is “I don’t give a… you know,” and points out that the Americans are just looking confused. Alisha is correct. Seymone, for example, is next up, and she is so not getting it.

Legendary PR Maven Kelly Cutrone says she knows all about punk because she has represented all those punk brands. Let’s examine that statement. Punk… brands. Punk… public relations representative.

A legendary Public Relations Maven does not know what punk rock means.

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