Tyra, Laura, and Sophie are all in evening gowns! Mr. Jay is back again to be the guest judge. Where the hell is Miss J? Were we that offended by his last outfit? Maybe, yes. Still, a sad way to say goodbye to him. Tyra talks about the prizes for one million jillion years, including half-singing the little Extra theme slightly off-key. That was her best take?
Time to judge Laura’s catwalk! Nigel says she was having fun, but she needs to both enjoy and control the moment. LPRMKC says Laura is supercool and rock and roll, but was trying too hard to be a nice girl in the show. Tyra says that Laura’s legendarily bad walk wasn’t there, almost as if it was a manufactured issue over the last few episodes. However, Tyra did not care for Laura’s “side smoochy tooch smirk.” Which doesn’t have anything to do with her butt, so “tooch” is just Tyra’s “smurf” now.
Sophie also walked! Nigel says she was strong and elegant. Tyra says Sophie’s body language when she blew her dandelion was “genius.” Jay thought Sophie was confident walking with her Samurai sword.
Time for their commercials, featuring candid shots from throughout the season! Come on, ear fight!
Uhhh, featuring a very few candid shots and a bunch of obviously staged “candid” shots, they mean. Well, close enough. Nigel says Laura’s commercial is one of his favorites. He likes her best when she’s not focusing on the camera. Jay prompts Laura to talk about her panic attack. LPRMKC says “Welcome to fashion. It happens.” And Tyra nudges Nigel to say that in a “non-Top Model situation” Laura would most likely have been swapped out unless she was a “Christy Turlington, a Tyra Banks,” and in any major city Laura would just have been expendable. (And now Nigel knows what it’s like to be swapped out and expendable too. Fashion is cold.)
Sophie does the opposite – they like Sophie talking to the camera, but not her in-between moments. LPRMKC says she looked a little too “Edie Sedgwick after a party,” and it’s kind of sweet that she thinks Sophie will get that reference. Tyra doesn’t see the girl she wanted to be friends with in the between camera moments. Aww.
Print ads! This panel goes on forever! To hell with the judges – more holograms! Jay likes that you can’t see Laura’s panic. LPRMKC only likes one of Laura’s shots. Nigel and LPRMKC lurve Sophie’s shots.
Jay points out that it’s rare to have two girls that you really like in the top two. All too true. LPRMKC says they’re both beautiful and have grown so much. Both stood out in the design-your-team’s-shoot challenge! Laura stood out with the celebrity-momster-who-must-not-be-named! Nigel says Laura would get booked, and LPRMKC says Sophie would get booked. And then she clarifies and says “Illuminata” and does what I thought was her ASL clapping again. Apparently it’s just her special gesture for Sophie. OK, that’s just uncomfortable now. LPRMKC says Laura is prettier on film than in person. Tyra and LPRMKC chat about how much they loved Sophie in the video, but Laura was too snarly.
Jay rhapsodizes over Laura’s silkworm shoot but hated Sophie’s. Everyone loves Laura’s top of the building photo and her willingness to do whatever to get the shot. Tyra notes that Nigel also found Laura a little crazy. But inspirational! Counters Nigel. Jay points out that Sophie racked up bookings in Toronto. Nigel says Sophie’s makeover made her stick out and then calls her “Illuminata,” the little light. Gross, Nigel. That is beneath you. LPRMKC says that Sophie making runner-up in Britain and then still trying over here is “a great public relations story.” “She kept going! She has pink hair!” Maven.
The tide turns back in Laura’s favor and Tyra holds her panic attack against her.
Tyra: “America’s Next Top Model is either an American or a Brit.” Well summed. Commercials!
This is it!
Two models! What a journey! And they don’t hate each other.
Oh, goodness gracious. Tyra thinks it’s fascinating that the Colonies and the U.K. were once at war, but now the Yanks and the Brits are allies, just like Laura and Sophie. Everyone acts like that is a very wise and delightful thing to say.
But only one can be America’s Next Top Model! Who will it be?! Tyra asks them how they feel, hoping one will panic or cry.
America’s Next Top Model is…
Sophie! Well done, girly. Laura classes it up and is gracious and hopeful. Way to go out in style, Team LesBiModel!
Congrats, Sophie! And congrats to us all for making it through this with most of our brain cells intact. See you next cycle!