“America’s Next Top Model” Recap (18.10): Kung Fu Crying

 
 

Hmm. Annaliese may have been playing her “fear” up just a bit for the cameras – once she’s out on the platform, she seems suspiciously fine. Jay says he really liked how Annaliese worked the harness, and AfterEllen.com readers, as one, wish AzMarie was still on the show so we could have all passed out from the hilariousness of that remark and perhaps set it as a ring tone. 

Jay says Annaliese did an archer, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon sort of thing, which is when Nigel realizes Jay is just saying random things again and explains that Annaliese didn’t fight it. Jay says that Annaliese, standing in a dress on a high platform and holding a harness, “really understands the culture here.” Thanks, Jay. 

Sophie tells Alisha and Eboni that being on the platform was like an out-of-body experience. I think she’s half genuinely telling them her real feelings and half cold messing with them. It’s totally working on Alisha. Laura is ridonkulously excited for the shoot. Eboni says Laura is “obviously physically attracted to Nigel,” either because the producers have goaded her because that’s today’s storyline about the Naughty Bisexual or because Eboni just feels like being a creepbucket. Seriously: I know Laura is a wild child, but they can’t even find a shot where she’s even really paying much attention to him. 

Laura goes right to the edge of the platform and crouches and bends. Jay loves how fabulous she is. Laura waves cheekily through the window at the other girls and, really, she deserves a little gloat at this point. Annaliese and Eboni look stunned and crabby. 

Eboni reminds us that Laura hates her, then says she needs to work on her facial expressions. She heads out and crouches a lot like Laura did. Eboni reminds herself of how far she’s come and that she can still be successful despite her rough childhood. 

Laura says she doesn’t think Eboni is as strong as Sophie and Alisha and Annaliese. She is biased, but she is correct. She says she’d rather have a Brit win than Eboni. 

Alisha says she’s terrified, but is just going to focus on her family. That and her work with the Anti-Sex League. Alisha knows she needs a good shot, so she steels herself and works it. Nigel says all the girls got a wake-up call, and Alisha knew this was make-or-break — but she wasn’t as good as she could be. 

Modelland!

Eboni is worried because of her past performances. The editors realize they’ve telegraphed the bottom two way too soon and cut in a shot of Annaliese saying “I just realized I’m the only one who hasn’t got Best Photo.” Sophie is drained. She hopes her obvious commitment will keep her in. 

Alisha is shouting to Eboni, who is right there, that she’s been exhausted for the last few photo shoots and she’s done everything they asked her to do. Laura, in an interview portion that may or may not be relevant to that, is sick of hearing the other models find out about insignificant things. She says this competition is about going through struggles and coming out on top, so let’s get rid of the regret. 

Alisha says the shoot was so horrible that she’s wondering if she even wants to be a model now. I’m pretty sure there are normally fewer platforms in the sky, Alisha. 

Panel!

Tyra is wearing a dress that goes to mesh at the knees. She also calls Nicholas Tse “Nick.” Well, well, well. Tyra says she is lightheaded and doesn’t know if it’s because of the heights the models went to or because Nick is so damn fine. Everyone laughs obligingly. 

Annaliese, like some but not all of the other models, seems to have cut her flag top into a halter. I really hope this is evidence of an ongoing model poker game. She says the shoot was fun. Nigel liked what she did and Legendary PR Maven Kelly Cutrone says she looks like a warrior. Tyra tells Annaliese to avoid Angry Nose. Everyone likes how Annaliese used the harness in her shoot, but they still Photoshopped the harness out. Fine. 

Alisha’s shot is almost completely obliterated by rain on the lens. Seriously? That’s the best ANTM technology had to offer? Nigel likes her weird shot, but thinks she could have done better. Tyra thinks Alisha looks like she is going to church in the wind, and then does a tight five on that topic. Anyway, she almost hit high fashion. If only she’d made more of a swan neck! LPRMCK doesn’t like it. 

Sophie admits that she hated the shoot, but with the harness removed it makes her look like she has crazy awesome arms, like she is power grooving on top of a building. Nigel mocks Sophie’s fear, but says she did surprisingly well in her calm moments. LPRMCK says she doesn’t like Sophie’s pose. She is incorrect. 

Tyra casually mentions how many times she has posed on the edge of a cliff, because no big deal, and says in those situations she just went somewhere else. (Inwardly. She didn’t stand up and walk off the set. Or at least not on the occasions she’s talking about. Shush and let Tyra inspire you.) “I’m going to give them the product. But I’m not going to give them me, or else we’re not going to get the shot.” Moral: Tyra is a better model than any of them and always will be. I always feel like after she tells one of these stories, she should walk over and dominance-hump the model she just schooled. 

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