“America’s Next Top Model” Mini Recap (18.1): When Two Don’t Make a Pair

Did the models have to do anything ridiculous or humiliating?

Does being dressed in Sergeant Pepper outfits that were redesigned by Prince and the art director for Fantastic Planet and then forced to competitively catwalk in the Universal Citywalk tourist trap count? (Hint: Yes.)

Do the producers of ANTM still think that chanting your country’s initials is awesome instead of horrible and embarrassing?

Alas, yes.

What was this week’s insane, gimmick-laden photo shoot? Were there enough gimmicks?

The shoot was, for real:

— One American and one Brit
— Each representing an icon from her respective country
— As captured by 60 3-D surround cameras
— While jumping on trampolines

C+ for concept. I think they could have used another gimmick. And, yes, they have ALREADY made AzMarie dress up as George Washington.

The model who was forced to dress up like Elton John thought she saw the writing on the wall, and that writing was going right across a display of bad photos, so she started crying and Laura was pretty mean about it. Cut that out, Laura. When you meanface on camera, you meanface for all of us.

Most insane photo pairing: Pocahontas and John Lennon. What?

Were there completely insane judging panel outfits?

Tyra appeared dressed as a Greek goddess. I guess in tribute to the Greek democratic ideals that were passed down to both nations? I have no idea. I just know she wasn’t Athena.

Also, the models were all apparently forced to mash their lips into some sort of templates that made flag patterns on their mouths. Never, ever do that. Both flags made the models look like they had mouth leprosy, and you could tell a woman’s nationality by the way her lips were tattering.

This week’s obsolete model:

Jasmia (Team UK), for failing to embody John Lennon while bouncing on a trampoline next to Pocahontas. Tough break, girly. Safe travels home.

We’re already hitting awesome levels of insanity and it’s only the first episode. See you next week!

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