“America’s Next Top Model: All-Stars” recap: Goddess and the shes

I had totally forgotten about the challenge where the girls got to sit
down and design their ideal final runway outfit with Michael Cinco.
We finally get to see what their creations look like in person. The
dresses came out really well but I feel like, in Angelea and Lisa’s case,
it’s because Mr. Cinco scrapped most of their ideas and went with the
Greek gladiator theme.

I’m so happy Laura came back for this challenge because I needed a
little sunshine in this episode. She is so sweet and cute and says she
knows Allison is nervous about walking the runway but she’ll do great
and she’s cheering for her.

It’s almost time to line up and Angelea is starting to buckle under the
pressure. She isn’t sure how her weave is going to stay in when she
goes underwater, she isn’t sure how to swim and the tears start to
flow. Her makeup starts to get compromised and this time there’s no one
around to coddle her and tell her it will be OK. There are no time-outs
or breaks to collect yourself. There is only time for Lisa to say
Angelea is not ready for this career.

It’s time to start and everyone gets in a circle to get themselves
pumped up. I’m a little confused as to why Jay looks like he ran his
face through a bedazzler and threw on his most fierce toga. Is he our
first petite male Top Model?

The first model goes and instead of a name being displayed, she only
gets to be known as “Greek Model.” The entire runway process  with
the water and the changing and the wind gets so confusing. Lisa and
Angelea both seem to have problems swimming but they turn it all up on
the runway, especially when it’s time to shake it when their songs
come on.

Allison kills underwater and actually does a great job with her walk.
She looked more natural than even her regular walking.

After the runway show, Angelea almost looks like she’s about to throw
up. The annoying celebrity couple who I will be so happy to never see
again, make it seem as though Lisa and Allison are the only two in the
running to be the winner — did I miss something where Tyra already said
“There are two beautiful girls who stand before me, but only one of
them can be America’s Next Top Model?” Curious.

At the judge’s panel — they’re back in Los Angeles and after all of
this — we are told the producers found out some things from Angelea
that disqualify her from the competition. Are you serious? Angelea, you
owe me a good full day of my life back — and probably more now that
I’ll have to try to super-sleuth some information from the internet to
find out what the hell happened. Oh well, at least I can say I’ll be ok
with whoever wins at this point.

The judges had very different things to say about Lisa and Allison’s
runway performances. Allison did a great job in the pool but failed at
working the wind. Lisa was a mess in the pool but did a great job on
the runway.

The commercials turned out pretty well. Allison’s eye sensitivity came
up but since eyeshadow is best seen with someone’s eyes closed, it
wasn’t too much of a problem. Lisa’s commercial only worked when they
used a voice-over instead of seeing her actually saying the lines. Tyra
agreed with me, which I’m shocked about.

Allison’s Cover Girl shoot was lacking a smize or any personality. I
feel as though they made her makeup really boring though. There was
nothing striking about the way they put her makeup on her or
highlighted her eyes. If anything it looked more like a foundation ad
or a skin care ad. Lisa’s picture turned out really well. She sold the
sexy, she sold the colors being used on her eyes (or the one eye we
could see).

In the end, we got to watch a shortened version of Tyra’s bizarre video
and the model going home as the winner is….Lisa! The final panel was
so bizarre though – it seemed fake or like half of the wind was taken
out of its sails. Usually there’s a big burst of surprise and happiness
— more tears — more real joy. This seemed like someone gave you
leftovers they brought home from your favorite restaurant. Oh well.
Lisa seemed like the best choice for this type of crowning. She also
seems to be dedicated to making this her life while Allison has so many
other things she wants to concentrate on and is great at. What do you
think? Are you happy with the turnout? I am psyched to be done with
this cycle – but now I’ll have to find some other TV show to have a
love/hate relationship with. I’m taking suggestions, but keep in mind
that my girlfriend already makes me sit through  Days of
Our Lives

UPDATE: OK, so I’m not positive
that this is the case, but the people of the internet seem to agree
that Angelea got disqualified because she couldn’t keep her mouth shut
and posted spoilers about the show before it aired, thereby
disqualifying her. Also according to these rumors, she
was supposedly the real winner of the cycle, not Lisa. What I find
hysterical about these rumors if they are true, is that it is a
gigantic smack of reality to Tyra’s face. No matter how much she wanted
to literally hand Angelea the undeserved win – it got handed right
back. If the proof is in the puddin’, Bill
must’ve been this week’s sponsor.

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