“American Horror Story” recap (3.10): Players only love you when they’re playing

Down in Cordelia’s potions dungeon, Myrtle is playing a theremin, which is basically an electric musical saw, and the best sight gag I’ve seen in quite a while. Cordelia asks that she switch to something a little more conducive to her mood, perhaps a somber cello, to which Myrtle admonishes her, “Don’t be a hater, dear.” Poor Cordelia has lost her sense of purpose, which is not helped by Myrtle’s advice that her true calling might be working on a cruise ship. In the end, Cordelia vents by smashing her potions set, while Myrtle provides the soundtrack.

AHS10.7THIS IS WHY SNAPE AND TRELAWNEY WERE NEVER FRIENDS.

Upstairs, Fiona cuts a few lines of her best Colombian Obnoxious Powder and awaits Papa Legba’s arrival. (So if milk and cookies attract Santa and cocaine brings you a voodoo deity, what exactly would you have to leave out to get a visit from Jesus?)

Papa Legba: The price of immortality may be too steep for you. Would you cripple your daughter?
Fiona: Sure thing. I like her better blind anyway.
Papa Legba: Murder an innocent? Someone you love?
Fiona: LOL I don’t love innocents. But murder, sure.
Papa Legba: I hate it to break it to you, but if you could do all these things without flinching, then you have no soul to sell.

When he splits, The Axman shows up to console Fiona. He suggests that they can still save Fiona’s life if they just find and kill the next Supreme. Fiona agrees, but decides to simplify things by killing all her successors, just in case.

The first victim is Nan, with an assist from Marie. Fiona benefits since a possible supreme is eliminated, and Marie gets to sacrifice the soul of an innocent without killing an infant. Papa Legba is initially reluctant to accept her soul, since she did just kill Patti LuPone, but Fiona successfully argues that she had it coming. So off goes Nan. I will miss her and her “I know something you don’t know” smile.

AHS10.8FINALLY gonna get it on with Luke in the afterlife.

At the close of the episode, Stevie Nicks (who I assumed was done after that first scene) plays Fiona to sleep with “Has Anyone Ever Written Anything For You” and Fiona somehow manages to self-pity even as she plots the death of a bunch of teenagers.

AHS10.9THIS SONG IS ABOUT MY LIFE, YOU GUYS. FOR REAL.

So of this week’s casualties, who do you think will have the good grace to stay dead?

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