“American Horror Story: Coven” recap (3.7): Lovin’ in the coven

Armed with the knowledge of Fiona’s treachery (and the treachery of almost everyone around her, for that matter) Zoe goes to interrogate Spalding, a task made much easier when she reattaches his tongue. The tongue is still enchanted, forcing him to tell the truth about how Fiona murdered Madison. Kudo, as always, to Denis O’Hare, for making the most of this, and all his scenes. Once Zoe has the information, she stabs Spalding with the ruthless efficiency she always exhibits when she is away from Kyle for a few hours.


Downstairs in the kitchen, Queenie innocently asks Delphine what the worst thing she ever did was. At first, Delphine is like “the past is best left buried” which is pretty much the height of irony, coming from her.

Queenie: Come on, you can tell me. This is a judgement-free zone.

Delphine: Okay.  I trust you.  One time I killed a baby to make my face cream, and I do feel sorta bad about it.

Queenie: THE FUCK?


Queenie: Ooooookay. What do you say we go on a little trip?

Delphine: YAY where are we going?

Queenie: A super fun pizza party just for you.

Once Zoe is done washing off all Spalding’s blood, Madison approaches her about how best to deal with the Kyle situation. They are both attached to him: Madison because the share the bond of zombie hood, and Zoe because you can’t kill someone with your magic vagina if he is already dead (probably). And because they are young and stupid they do what so many sexually confused college-aged folks have tried before: a threesome.

AHS 7.11ASpoiler alert: This is a bad idea.

Convinced that Madame LaLaurie is irredeemably evil, Queen tricks her into going to Marie Laveau’s, where she is captured. And even though she is a baby-killer and a monster, I can’t help feeling a little sorry for Delphine when it becomes clear that her fate is now to be an ingredient in Marie’s beauty treatment.

AHS 7.12Cosmetic justice.

Okay, so two questions for y’all this week:

1. Would you rather live with scary Jessica Lange or scary Angela Bassett?

2. Are you dreading or hoping they show more of the zombie threesome in the next episode?

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