“American Horror Story: Coven” recap (3.7): Lovin’ in the coven

 
 

Speaking of Fiona, we catch up to her at the abode of the Axe Man. At first I thought it really was his place; it looks so convincingly like the Prohibition-era apartment of an impoverished sax player, but I was forgetting that that is simply the aesthetic many New Orleanians strive to cultivate in their homes. Sure enough, we learn via bird’s eye view that the actual owner has been stabbed to death in the bathtub.

AHS 7.5Is it bad that I am more concerned over the fate of that hat? 

Anyway he seduces her and even though they are both rotten to their cores, it’s impossible not to ship them.

AHS 7.6 Stop being so precious.  It’s confusing. 

The next day, Zoe tries to get Kyle hooked on phonics, but only ends up insulting his intelligence.

AHS 7.7The Miss Robichaux Institute for Zombies Who Can’t Read Good 

Ever the busybody, Madison then flounces in and realizes that she now has Kyle to commiserate about necrotic tissue and the cold black void of death. It’s very season six Buffy and Spike.

Over in the Ninth Ward, Queenie finally pays a visit to Marie Laveau, who tells her that she belongs with the Voodoo, who will never make her feel less-than. All she needs to do to secure her place with them is bring them Delphine LaLaurie. Queenie argues that Delphine is a reformed racist, but Marie insists that her crimes deserve an eternity of punishment.

AHS 7.8Gumbo! Skull decor! Mason jars of semen! The perks are endless! 

Back at Miss Robichaux’s, Cordelia calls Zoe in for a secret meeting, to inform her that:

1. Zoe may or may be not be the next Supreme.

2. But it doesn’t really matter either way, because if Fiona thinks she’s the Supreme, she will kill her.

3. Which is why they are going to kill her first. Together. To death.

Understandably shaken up after this, Zoe goes back to her room, where she is greeted by this baleful sight.

AHS 7.9YOU CAN HAVE HIM WHEN YOU PRY ME OUT OF HIS COLD, DEAD HANDS.

Elsewhere, Fiona is recovering from her own coitus with the marginally alive, and is just about to hit the road, when the Axe Man begs her to stay.  He informs her that he has been watching her since she came to Ms. Robichaux’s at eight years old, and over time his love has transformed from fatherly to loverly. Fiona is so much of a narcissist that she isn’t even creeped out by the whole “stalking you since you were a child” thing, and is only offended that he didn’t make his move until she was old and riddled with disease. She storms out, leaving the Axe Man alone with the horrible music inside his head.

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