“American Horror Story: Asylum” recap: “I’m tough, but I’m no cookie.”(2.11)


Thredson rushes home, only to find Lana waiting for him with a loaded gun, looking all kinds of fine. The police are on their way but she still has a few unanswered questions. And Lana, I love you when you’re flipping the bird, pointing a gun, and exacting well-deserved revenge, but when you let Thredyface put his hands anywhere but in the air, I really want to shake you. She asks what he did with Wendy’s body. When I saw Clea DuVall’s name in the opening credits this week, a small, stupid part of me dared to hope that she was somehow, miraculously alive. But no, I was simply forced to look at her face, an expression of despair frozen on it, as Thredyface defiled her corpse. It made me ill. It makes me ill. Moving on.

Lana appropriately, is looking forward to the end of this man’s life, so when he brags about how the worst thing waiting for him is a lifetime commitment to a mental hospital, she takes matters into her own trigger finger.

An appropriately ironic end to the artist formerly known as Bloodyface.

While I’m very glad to see him go, I am sad to report that this is the third major villain we’ve lost in very anticlimactic fashion.

Flash forward a bit, to Lana visiting Wendy’s tomb with the lesbian peanut gallery from episode two. To give credit where credit is due, I’m glad we get to see Lana mourn the death of her partner. Even though she hasn’t been what you might making a lot of sweet lady love this season, Lana’s sexuality has never been an afterthought. It’s always woven into her personality without dominating it. I wish I could say the same for the brunette member of the peanut gallery who firsts skeeves all over the grieving Lana with an offer to be her roommate, and then sneaks off when reporter shows up, since her family “doesn’t suspect” she’s a lesbian.

“Honey, you couldn’t be more obvious if those earmuffs were made of actual vagina.”

Also, the cinematography in this scene and the whole episode is very impressive; it’s nice to see them have a palette other than gray.

Back at Briarcliff, the Monsignor is less than thrilled with Lana’s exposé of his institution. Since she’s out of his reach, he vents his anger on the other pesky female in his life, Sistah Jude, who calls him out for his “stupid, naked ambition.” He responds by throwing her in solitary for, like, ever. Jessica Lange’s performance channels the mad conviction of a Greek tragic heroine and continues to be one of the best reasons to watch this show.

“Don’t pity me!  Pity the extras forced to pace this room ALL SEASON!”

At least Kit is having a good day. In the wake of the Briarcliff scandal it is no longer possible to hold Kit captive, so he gets some clothes from the Salvation Army and his walking papers. Before he goes, though, he convinces the Monsignor to release Grace, since she is officially still a dead person anyway. Once free the happy couple rescue their son from St. Brutus’ and go to make a life for themselves. Unfortunately their choice of venue is Kit’s old home which is still haunted by the ghost of Alma…or just actual Alma.

“So are we gonna Sister Wives this shit or do I need to fight you?”

Also grappling with the implications of parenthood is Lana, who goes to the friendly local abortion provider. At the last second, though, she decides that there has been enough bloodshed on Bloodyface’s behalf.  Not the call I would have made, but whatever.

Flash forward again to later in Lana’s pregnancy, when she manages to obtain a search warrant to return to Briarcliff and fulfill her vow to Sistah Jude. When she arrives, the Monsignor relates the sad story of her suicide. Lana doesn’t buy it but the two cops are just day players from central casting, so they refuse to investigate. A long shot reveals that Jude is alive, merely being kept in Briarcliff’s deepest dungeon.

For our final flash forward, we see Lana lying in a hospital bed below a crucifix, having just given birth. So first of all: this is a CATHOLIC HOSPITAL? Just watching this show has robbed my faith in church-run medical institutions, but apparently not Lana’s. A nurse brings in her son, who is allergic to baby formula. Lana doesn’t want anything to do with the kid, but when she hears his cries, she reluctantly takes him to her bosom.

So basically quit complaining and assaulting prostitutes, Dylan McDermott.

See you next week for the very last episode.

Pages: 1 2

Tags: , ,