The next day, Cordelia returns home from the hospital with Lumberjack Dave in tow. But the second he drops her off she tells him to get lost, because every time they touch she sees images of his cheating ways. Fiona tries to comfort her, but that lady has more secrets than Victoria, so every time they hug for the next decade Cordelia will probably catch a glimpse of some murder or other. This time she sees that Fiona roasted dear Auntie Myrtle, and she is devastated. She, for one, doesn’t believe that Myrtle blinded her.
Upstairs, Zoe, Queenie, and Nan have successfully tied up Spalding and are interrogating him (via Nan’s telepathy) about Madison’s murder. He tries to protect Fiona by taking credit for the murder, saying that he needed to do gross sex stuff to Madison’s corpse to feel like a man. Way to commit to the lie, I guess.
Queenie does her human voodoo doll trick with a spatula, which seems sort of unnecessary since Spalding is tied down and Queenie could just skip the self-mutilation and go straight to mutilating him. Zoe stops short of murdering Spalding because she’s not sure he really did kill Madison. So to be clear: in four episodes we’ve gone from Zoe the coward who is physically incapable of lying to the police, to Zoe the master interrogator who doesn’t even believe other people’s murder confessions. It’s definitely a personality transplant, but since it’s such a vast improvement, I suppose we ought to just take it and say thanks. Beggars, choosers, gift horses, you get the picture.
Over on the bayou, Misty Day is busy bringing life forth from the soil and looking damn fine doing it. First she waters the potatoes, then the basil, then the pile of dirt under which Myrtle is recuperating.
I could really just watch her garden and wear shawls all day, but Kyle arrives to distract her.
She brings him back to her shack to bathe him. Now, the idea of being tenderly sponged by Lily Rabe might seem like a calming pastime to you or me, but for Kyle it brings up the memories of his abusive mother, so he starts flailing around like Frankenstein’s monster when faced with fire. In his rage, he shatters Misty’s cassette player along with her Stevie Nicks collection. Being a simple country girl, Misty believes this is the only copy of the works of the great White Witch in existence, and sobs “HE BROKE STEVIE.” It is fucking precious.
Zoe arrives on the scene, intending to beg for Misty’s help again. She scarcely reacts at all to the sight of Kyle, despite the fact that as far as she knows he could have been throwing children down wells/drowned in the swamp/being a frat boy again. I guess the whole “fawning over boys” thing isn’t a feature on her new OS, and good riddance. She drags both Misty and Kyle back to Ms. Robichaux’s, where she enlists Misty’s help in reanimating Madison. Misty initially balks.
Misty: You teens gotta stop awakening the dead every time you have a problem. It’s not healthy.
Zoe: But pleeeeease oh please oh please. If you only knew what a lovely person Madison is, you’d understand.
Misty: Girl, you better be thankful your face looks like that, because I just cannot say no to you.
So together they coax Madison back from the blackness beyond the grave. Her first words upon waking are “I need a cigarette,” so at least we know she turned out better than Kyle. Afterwards Misty steals a bunch of food and makes to leave.
Zoe: Where are you going? We were gonna get drunk on absinthe and conjure spirits!
Misty: No offense, but I prefer the swamp. So I guess some offense, actually.