“All My Children” recap (May 20-24): Lezbo Princess


It’s so un-Binxian, I can hardly believe it comes out of Bianca’s mouth. Then again, when someone takes away your spirit, you have nothing left to lose. JR tells Bianca that he doesn’t remember, and I’m beginning to believe him. Bianca, however does not. He apologizes for the pain he’s caused, to which Bianca simply and perfectly responds, “Bullshit.”

JR tells Bianca that she has every right to hate him, and he doesn’t deserve her forgiveness. Either the guy really doesn’t remember or he is much more duplicitous than I ever gave him credit for. Bianca decides it’s best to leave and beckons to Miranda, who tells her mother that she’s staying with AJ. Just when you think Bianca’s heart can’t be broken any further, her daughter crushes it into dust right before her eyes.

After Bianca leaves, JR tries to make awkward conversation with Miranda. What happens next, had me yelling at my computer. SHE ACTUALLY APOLOGIZES TO JR FOR HER MOTHER’S REACTION. Guuuuuurrrl, you need to check yourself. AJ makes an excuse that he has to finish his homework, and he and Miranda steal away from this shit storm. While studying, Miranda once again apologizes for her mother, this time to AJ. This forces me to apologize to my neighbor for throwing my lamp against the wall. She then picks up a guitar and starts to sing a little ditty she wrote about her good old buddy, palsy walsy AJ. You know, a friend song. The kind where you tell your friend that you are lost without him, while making googly eyes at each other. The song is actually kind of nice, but really long, which always makes me uncomfortable. AJ on the other hand, thinks its aces.

They then hop on the “bad idea express” and end up kissing. Actually, it’s less like a kiss and more like two guppies struggling for oxygen. I tried to capture the magic.

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