We’re a week away from the Pretty Little Liars Halloween special, which, according to ABC Family, is going to result in the death of another of the show’s major players. It might surprise newcomers that a teenage murder mystery involves so much death and dismemberment, but to those of us who are initiated, we know it’s just another sunny day in Rosewood. Some of the show’s most sinister shenanigans happen at the hands of a pair of black leather gloves, known affectionately to AfterEllen readers as the Risen Mitten. So, in honor of the upcoming A-train mayhem, we’re taking a look back at all of those dastardly deeds.
Over the course of three seasons, A’s gloved hand:
Printed out three dozen photos of Maya and Emily snogging in a photo booth and pasted them to the wall.
Spray painted the Rosewood City Limit sign to adjust the population to reflect the recent death toll.
Fetched Toby’s therapy file from the river.
Mailed a thumb drive of Ali and Ian’s sex tape to the Rosewood PD.
Cut down the tree with Alison and Ian’s true love carving and burned it in the fireplace.
Deposited hundred dollar bills into a clown-shaped piggy bank after stealing them from Ashley and Hanna’s pasta stash.
Returned to the coat check at the Rosewood High Father Daughter Dance where s/he had left his/her gloves/hoodie with Ella Montgomery.
Accepted a hot cup of tea from Mrs. Garrett, who retired from The Facts of Life and moved to Rosewood to make personalized beaded bracelets.
Learned French from a record while polishing the trophy she stole from Mr. Fitz’s drama club.
Dropped off some flowers at the grave of the lady who died and accidentally bequeathed her life savings to Ashley Marin.
Adopted four mice and named them Aria, Emily, Hanna, and Spencer. Killed the mouse named Spencer.
Chomped down on a bowl of popcorn while watching a home video of the Liars receiving “A” texts.
Crafted a ceramic heart with Hanna’s name on it, smashed it with a hammer, mailed it back to her with a tube of superglue and a note: “Dear Hanna, try putting it back together! Kisses! – A.”
Stole Ezra’s apartment key from under his doormat.
Took a tour of Emily’s house with a real estate agent, stared at a framed photo of the Liars, deleted all the Ali + Ian porn off of Emily’s laptop.
Petted a little dog that was rooting around in one of the million holes in Jason DiLaurentis’ yard.
Massaged Emily’s naked back.
Bought Melissa’s engagement ring from the Gatsby pawn shop where Spencer sold it to get some money to buy Toby a truck.
Reverse pickpocketed Ian’s phone into Spencer’s purse after leading the Liars and Melissa to his dead body in one of Rosewood’s ten thousand abandoned barns.
Projected Ali and Ian’s homemade porno onto a mausoleum in the middle of the night for the Liars’ viewing pleasure.
Purchased some brown Tory-Burch boots from a wholesale website page.
Poisoned Emily’s sports cream while listening to “I’ve Got You Under My Skin.”
Hid under a sheet in the morgue while the Liars looked for Page Five of Ali’s autopsy report.
Used Jason’s barn-turned-darkroom to develop some black and white photos of Spencer and Emily snooping around the DiLaurentis’ place.
Started therapy with Annabeth Gish.
Rifled through Annebeth Gish’s office files, retrieved a bug from the bottom of a Colonel Sanders bobblehead doll.
Met Annabeth Gish in a seedy diner, paid her off with an envelope full of money, ordered a cup of coffee and a slice of pie from a waitress who called her “Pretty Eyes.”
Realized she lost her cell phone after getting hit by Hanna’s car, had a fit, punched the side mirror on her car.
Fished Lucas’ shoes out of the water after Hanna tried to drown him in the river at Spencer’s birthday party.
Loosened the bolts on the scaffolding of the project Toby was working on at the Hastings’ place so he would fall off and break his head as punishment for falling in love with Spencer.
Pulled the photo of Aria and Ezra off her “Liars Supercouple” cork board and cut it in half.
Stole Peter Hastings’ gun from his desk drawer.
Stole Caleb’s laptop from his backpack at a school sleepover.
Watched Emily leave a voicemail on kidnapped Maya’s phone.
Took Peter Hastings’ gun to the shooting range and unloaded a round into a paper target’s chest.
Bought a copy of the Rosewood Gazette that announced Maya a MISSING GIRL.
Planted a Rosewood PD badge in a garden to grow more Rosewood PD badges.
Gave the crazy Brookhaven Psycho Doll Shop lady a satchel full of cash for setting up a bloody doll prank, gave her son a giant lollipop.
Purchased several “A” uniforms — black hoodies and a black leather gloves — from a knife store.
Enjoyed a delicious vodka tonic, procured from the freezer where Alison DiLaurentis’ dead body rested in frozen peace.
Enjoyed more delicious vodka tonics while waiting to fly home to Rosewood from Montecito after gunning down Caleb’s mom with his/her car. Also reinstated Mona’s visitation privileges at Radley Institute for the Criminally Insane.
Rifled through dead Maya’s purse.
Scarfed down on a bowl of ice cream while perusing the Rosewood Gazette’s classified ads.
Ripped the head off a porcelain doll and retrieved an audio recorder — from the doll guts — of Mona talking in Vandercode in an insane asylum.
Cashed a check for $50,000 while giving the bank teller the heeby jeebies about how a black hoodie announced the arrival of winter and/or doom.
Rented apartment A from a lady with a dog.
Ironed and organized an entire closet full of black hoodies, tried to watch local news coverage of Garett’s murder trial, but flipped over to Wheel of Fortune instead, due to homicide boredom.
Danced with another Risen Mitten to their autumn jam, “Smiling Faces Sometimes.”
My personal favorite A-hand tasks are the ones where s/he listens to on-the-nose songs on a record player while getting into mischief. What’s your favorite evil handsy moment so far?