Evil Ward and Not-A-Clairvoyant break into someplace called the “toy store” aka a collection of things that were totally supposed to have been destroyed but weren’t because power and magic are tempting even to the goodliest good guys.
Coulson gives his team (and Tagalong Triplett) the option to follow him or not, but of course they all do, and they set out to follow the coordinates, adorably bundled.
OK, so they don’t look HAPPY, but they look warm.
Simmons and Fitz have an almost-bonding moment, where Simmons assures Fitz that they’ll always have each other while simultaneously warning them that nothing will ever be the same. Skye catches up with May and asks if she thinks Coulson is okay, and May isn’t sure; Fury, before he ceased to be alive, was worried about Coulson finding out the truth, afraid he’d break. They both look at him nervously when, sure enough, he straight-up snaps. He is desperate for the coordinates to mean something, desperate to not let his team down, desperate to not be an Agent of Nothing. In the midst of his tantrum, he throws his badge, which is shot to oblivion by a distant relative of the Dalek. When Coulson presents himself to the gunbot, it welcomes him and opens a door.
Over in the Fridge, Ward uses one of their new toys to shoot a hole in the floor to get some super secret device, which makes Garrett very happy. Raina comes up to them to report that Skye had set up the hard drive to destroy everything on it if anyone besides her tried to access it, which means Ward is going to have to slip on the sheep’s clothing once again.
When Team Coulson (and Triplett) enter the door the gunbot let them into, Patton Oswalt shows up, and welcomes them to a secret S.H.I.E.L.D. base. Patton calls it Providence, but technically it just called the Secret S.H.I.E.L.D. base. He tells them that they can all earn lanyards if they’re on their best behavior and don’t eat any of the everlasting gobstoppers, and confirms that Fury is in fact super-dead, never made it out of D.C. He also says there were some issues at the Fridge, which makes Skye call Ward because she doesn’t know that every drop of worry wasted on him could be used on literally anything else and be more productive. Like on how she’s going to get rid of Triplett so she can date Simmons.
Patton pulls Coulson into his office, away from his team, and tells him JUST KIDDING Fury isn’t really dead! He just wants everyone to think he is. Except Maria Hill. And Captain America. And of course Coulson. Coulson wants to tell his team, but Patton says that they’re not all cleared yet.
Garrett, who seems to have slapped on one of those Deathlok-technology armor thingies on his ribcage, tells Ward to get the information from Skye quickly, or Garrett is coming in to do things the messy way.
When Ward shows up at Providence, Skye greets him, looking as cute as ever. Skye flirty-faces at him, and he two-faces back at her.
To be fair, this WAS right after she said Simmons’ name.
Meanwhile, Quinn (who will forever be The Dude Who Shot Skye…or Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s husband in Ghost Whisperer) is released from his cell and is FURIOUS. Garrett is not fazed in the least, and says he has a gift for Quinn that will make him quit his bitching. He brings him to a box of gravitonium, a.k.a. the silvery blob of danger and mayhem.
Next week, Amy Acker rejoins the Whedonverse, someone makes Skye cry, and hopefully Amy Acker’s character kills whoever made Skye cry.