Afternoon Delight: Scarlett’s “Vogue China” cover, Linda Perry’s “Evening with Women”

Happy Hump Day, everyone! Get it? Hump Day? Because Wednesday is the hump in the middle of the work week? Oh, never mind!

Speaking of things I’d like to hump, actress Scarlett Johansson is on the cover of Vogue China’s April issue. Tyra Banks would give Johansson an A+ for her broken doll pose.

Rock goddess Linda Perry has partnered with The L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center for the third time to host the annual “An Evening With Women,” which will take place on Saturday, April 16, 2011 at the Beverly Hills Hotel in Beverly Hills. The event will include performances by Cyndi Lauper, Cat Power, Juliette Lewis and Sarah Silverman. Funds raised will go to programs for women’s health, legal assistance, domestic violence prevention and education, cultural programs, self-enrichment courses, social events and discussion groups.

At last year’s event Perry was joined on stage by Pink for an impromptu performance of “What’s Up?” 

Who knows what will happen this year. Will you be attending?

Paz Vega runs for her life and Janet McTeer beats up the bad guys in the new action thriller Cat Run, due in theaters April 1. Vega plays a high-end escort (why does she have to play an escort? Come on Hollywood give women other occupations!) that knows too much about a scandalous government cover-up and is being hunted down by an assassin. “Escorts” are always being hunted down in movies. Apparently, you need strong calf muscles for running if you want to be an escort these days. 

Speaking of females with large calf muscles, there is a general casting call for a new show called Dyke Central, set to shoot in the San Francisco Bay area at the end of May.

They are casting the following female roles:

Alex. Black butch/stud, 30. Introverted yet charming.
Fabiana. Bisexual Latina, 30. On the feminine end of the spectrum. Actress, wanderer, just moved to the Bay from NY.
Sol. Androgynous DJ, POC, social connector of the group.
Molly. High femme pothead foodie.

To audition, send your headshot and resume to mynahfilms@gmail.com

Academy Award winner and Queen impersonator Helen Mirren is set to host Saturday Night Live on April 9, with musical guest the Foo Fighters. This will be Mirren’s first time hosting the sketch show and I’m crossing my fingers she’ll wear a bumpit and play Snooki in a Jersey Shore parody. 

For all you dirty birdies who are over the age of 18, check out the new NSFW trailer for Natalie Portman’s upcoming movie Your Highness. Portman sports a Medieval thong (did they have thongs back in Medieval times?) and there are a lot of random cleavage shots, which wouldn’t be a bad thing if there weren’t so many nasty d–k jokes in the trailer. Is anyone else tired of seeing attractive smart woman having to deal with ugly douchey guys in movies?

You won’t find any douchey guys in tellofilms.com‘s new lesbian series Cowgirl Up starring Mandy Musgrave (South of Nowhere). CU’s fourth episode will be posted on the tellofilms site this Friday, March 25 and if you can’t wait to see what the cowgirls are up to check out the sneak preview of the episode below.

Also on tellofilms.com, I’m proud to announce that next Hump Day (Wednesday, March 30) my new mockumentary series McManusland will premiere! The series is about my life in Hollywood. Check out the show’s first promo and the special behind-the-scenes video below. I think it’s going to make my dog Taffy a star!

Join the Facebook campaign to get female indie rock band Sick of Sarah on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Hit the “like” button as many times as you physically can and maybe Ellen DeGeneres will get a ringing in her ear that will compel her to book the all-girl band to perform on her Emmy award-winning talk show.

I think if SOS gets on the show we should get to choose which songs they sing.  I vote for “Not Listening”!

Lesbian/Bi Photo of the Day

After losing the legendary Elizabeth Taylor today, I need something to make me smile. Enter musical enchantress Sia!

Sia performed at the Big Day Out Festival in Sydney, Australia back in January. Just seeing Sia’s face lifts my spirits.